So Very Hungry…
Posted on September 6, 2007
Filed Under RELEVANT Editors |
So, without giving too much away, as you know I like to keep suspense intact regarding future issues of the magazine, I am doing a fairly prolonged fast for an article for the January/February issue (yes, we work that far in advance). I’m almost a week in, and I’m amazed at everything that God is teaching me. I can’t wait to share everything with you guys about the experience. Of course, if I’m entirely honest, I really look forward to looking back on all this in retrospect. I can tell you from the few extended fasts I’ve done in the past, that usually after the hunger subsides, you start feeling really good as your body purges itself of toxins. Not so this time. I don’t feel hungry at all, just tired and vaguely sick. But in the midst of this, it’s an incredibly rich spiritual experience. At any rate, I’m giving away too much of my story. If you remember, please pray for me that God will continue to teach me, that I can clearly and effectively communicate what I’ve learned and that He’ll use it to impact others. I’m really excited about this experience.
Below is a long-awaited (by someone, perhaps) Rambo plot. I’ll give you advance warning: I’m only going to do one more Rambo plot. Then, I’m going to move on to posts a bit more like my Eraserhead essay.
RAMBO IX: Revenge of the Thousand Dragon Clan
At the outset of this film, we learn that Rambo has suffered amnesia. After a disastrous motorcycle accident, he was found by some vineyard owners and taken in as a grape stomper. No one at the vineyard knows his identity, and there is an air of mystery about him as he only speaks French, despite the fact that the vineyard is in California. However, he is an expert grape stomper, releasing three times more volume of juice from each barrel than any other stomper. Also, the juice pours out miraculously fermented to perfection. In his time as a stomper, Rambo has taken a liking to the vineyard owners’ beautiful daughter, and she is intrigued by the enigmatic stranger. He whittles her elaborate driftwood sculptures, often much larger than the original piece of wood he started with. At one point, he punches down a tree and folds it into a tiny origami crane for her.
One day as Rambo is stomping grapes, the General appears on the platform next to him, also stomping grapes. “Rambo, your country needs you again!” the General says. “A group of steam-powered robots in the year 1865 are going to assassinate Abraham Lincoln. You have to go back in time and save him, so he can become king of America!”
“Je ne comprends pas,” Rambo replies.
“Oh, no!” the General cries. “The amnesia! Think, Rambo. Try to remember!”
As the camera focuses on the General, it pans over to show that Rambo is no longer standing next to the General. The General looks around, nonplussed. Rambo rolls into the frame behind him on his motorcycle, tying his trademark red headband, and says, “Let’s roll.”
In the next scene, Rambo is revving his motorcycle. “I have to get this jump just right to end up in 1865.” He peels out and jumps over a canyon and through a flaming hoop. He lands in the middle of what is obviously a jungle in Southeast Asia, but a caption apppears at the bottom of the screen that reads, “Washington D.C., 1865.”
For the next 90 minutes, Rambo rides through the jungle, killing guerilla soldiers. It is very important to note that at no point do steam-powered robots show up. Finally, Rambo sneaks into the guerilla compound and breaks into a hut where Abraham Lincoln is chained to a wall. “Rambo!” the President exclaims. “You sure are a sight for sore eyes!”
Rambo frees Lincoln and hands him a flamethrower. The two spend about twenty more minutes killing soldiers. In the aftermath, Lincoln turns to Rambo and says, “How can I ever repay you?”
“Be the best man at my wedding.” Rambo says with a wink.
Next, we cut to a sunny garden scene where the wedding march is playing. Rambo and the vineyard owners’ daughter exchange vows and kiss. As the music continues to play, the screen goes dark and a caption appears reading, “1 Year Later.” Rambo and Abraham Lincoln are in the waiting room of a hospital. A doctor comes out and says, “Congratulations, Mr. Rambo, it’s a boy. And here he is!” Out walks another fully grown Rambo.
The scene cuts to a wealthy dowager, the type seen in Marx Brothers or Three Stooges films. She says, exasperated, “Two Rambos?! Oh my!” With this, she faints.
The two Rambos and Lincoln laugh and the camera freezeframes as they high-five while Foreigner’s “Feels Like the First Time” begins to play. Roll credits.
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11 Responses to “So Very Hungry…”
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I predict 3 oscar nominations.
Seriously though, I clicked on this link thinking to get a humorous musing on something culturally related and was very encouraged with what you wrote about. When I read the articles online or in the mag, I’m not always paying so much attention to the writer as I am the content. That being said, my immediate association with your personality is from the podcast, which usually is more fun and entertaining. My bad. I hope (an pray) that this time of fasting for you is even more impact-full than what you are hoping for even now. Take care.
May God bless you in your spirit as you crucify your flesh before Him, and may you prosper as your soul prospers!
Nothing like a fast and some Rambo action to get your blood pumping.
Blessings on the fast. Props on the Rambo plot. Can’t wait to see the next one.
Rachel
God-Worship editor
may i just say im a big fan of your invisible hand analogy.
-mel
I havent heard someone talk about fasting in a long while.”Someone” meaning any random christian ive met in the past few months and so for that,im very grateful you did.That Rambo eh?You gotta love him.Excellent writing.Keeping you in prayer.
In Grace,
Kesara.
if i may critique your rambo plot a bit… its needs more flame thrower… just a thought. other than that a truly inspirational plot. It contains patriotism, the drink, and love.
grace and peace
eric
I cannot believe how commercial your plot is. Try to be a little more inventive next time.
If you ever sell the concept, my company wants first dibs.
I look forward to the article. I don’t have much experience with fasting. My Christian college used to sponsor a “fast your lunch” day when people would sign up to donate the cost of that meal to a cause. Then they would all run to Hardy’s for lunch. Other than that I haven’t felt led to do it.
I’m almost positive I’ve seen that movie…
Reminds me a bit of Turkish Star Wars. The “punching tree… makes origami” scene in particular reminds me of the training sequence.
That plotline does sound familiar… hmm… I’m sure it wasn’t nearly as interesting without Sylvester do drive it emotionally. *ahem.
I have some health issues that prevent me from fasting from food, so I often try to fast from something else. Music is the most common fast for me, and it is always a great learning experience. The sudden silence helps me to focus and key in on learning what I should be. Sometimes, I think it can be hard to hear the still small voice over the raido.
I write at: http://www.ministrytools.wordpress.com
Speaking of HungAry…World Gospel Mission will be sending a student to Hungary for a free mssions trip by way of a video production contest. To learn more visit http://www.unsolvedministries.blogspot.com.