RELEVANT podcast: October 19, 2007

Posted on October 26, 2007
Filed Under Podcast Stuff |

Oh my! It’s an actual feedback update! While you’re celebrating our triumphant return, snack on these tasty morsels made of semi-bitter Halloween experiences and sweet costume ideas. MMM…tastes like a MilkyWay!

A few years ago I was taking my kids out trick or treating, we wanted to do the door to door thing, as the trunk or treats at the Churches just didn’t seem like it was the real deal. Well we are walking around a friends subdivision and having a great time, 4 adults toting 4 kids in costumes, having to “inspect” the good candy so the kids are safe.

Well we get to a house that we assumed they were running as a haunted house as people kept going in and coming out and the place was decked out to the nines. At first with how decked out it was we thought it may be a party, but they waved us in from the road to come on in, so we did. Well walking in we noticed that yeah, the yard was covered in the tacky Halloween junk from Wal-Mart, but the stuff inside was looking pretty authentic. It was all decked out like you would do for a haunted house, but none of it was really scary, just books of spells lying all over the place, cats roaming around, jars with dead things floating in them, lots of candles and incense, and you just walked in through the house to the back go some candy then walked back out through the front again. Like I said, nothing very scary, nothing traumatic, nobody trying to scare you as you walked through.

It was when we got to the porch and we were handed a “track” that it got really weird. No, we weren’t given the good old Chick Tricks, no, we were given a Wiccan Track all about the realities of living as a Wiccan in today’s society. The woman proceeded to tell us how her and her girlfriend lived a druidic Wiccan lifestyle and they were doing this open house to dispel the rumors in the neighborhood and show people they were normal and nice, just Wiccan.

Yeah, that was the last year we went trick or treating door to door.
-Avery Moore

That’s the same reason I’ve never gone to see Harry Potter on Opening Night.

So every year we had a “harvest” party. We had it at a leader’s house instead of the church because he had a large backyard with woods to use for games. We decided to play a version of a game like manhunt. Now let me set the scene. It is now almost November in Massachusetts, so needless to say, it is freezing. The backyard that we were hosting our hillbilly games (the theme of the night) had all kinds of hillbilly décor around. ie: hanging pots and pans on a string for the spitting contest, tires, hay, etc. and it was completely dark outside.

I was hiding with another crouched under some bushes. At this point, almost everyone was in jail and waiting for us to be caught. They were all yelling for us to come. All of a sudden, I heard someone running and they were coming right towards me. I thought that I had been spotted and started to get ready to run when my friend Greg’s voice rang into the night like a pre-adolescent squawk (I am not joking when I say this) which was followed by a HUGE splash. His girly scream would have been enough to make me laugh to this day, but the splash that I heard takes it one step farther.

Greg had also been hiding and when he tried to make a run for it, he couldn’t see where he was going, and being unfamiliar with the yard, he ran right into the fish pond. He collapsed as he put his foot down and it sunk into a couple of feet of water & muck. His whole entire body was submerged in freezing fish water. He came out of the water in a shocked frenzy with muck all over him and in his hair. He had no idea what had happened and crawled out of the pond chocking on the water that he had inhaled on his way down.

Needless to say, the game ended and Greg survived, but he has NEVER lived that day down. It is one of those stories that every once in a
while, as we sit around chatting, someone inevitably says, “Remember that night when
Greg fell into the frozen fish pond?”

Happy Halloween!!
Amber Brides

Sounds like he was just really getting into the theme. Nothing says “hillbilly festival” like being covered in frozen fish pond muck.

All throughout high school I worked a Chick-Fil-A restaurant. I had the pleasure many weeks to participate in “Kidz Night” every Tuesday evening which promised an appearance from “Doodles The Chick-Fil-a Chicken” (This was before the cows “Eat mor chikn” campaign). Many a nights I would dawn the Doodles suit, yellow tights and all. I had the bright idea that for Halloween of my 10th grade year I would wear the Doodle head, just the head, around school for laughs.

I did get laughs, but not from my antics. I ended up becoming severely allergic to the dusty Doodles head and had to go home where my Grandmother had to take care of me for 2 days. But on the bright side, I got to see 2 days worth of “The Price is Right” thanks to daytime television. Enjoy and have a great weekend!

-Rusty Poer
Casper, Wyoming

That’s why you never mess with intellectual property of Chick-Fil-A.

Here’s a couple costume ideas:

Let me make the following suggestions for the Relevant crew.

Anyone can smear some make-up, throw on a wrinkled dress, one stocking, mismatched shoes and be Cheri Oteri’s prescription drug addicted Collette from SNL. If Adam is regularly taking his estrogen then he may be able to get away with it.

I’m pretty sure that Jesse Carey can throw on a pair of glasses, tussle his hair and be the screenwriter from the one season and then cancelled Fox show Action! Have you ever compared their voices? They may have been separated at birth.

Now you may object that these choices are too obscure and you’d quickly get annoyed explaining who you are to everyone but this would betray your reputation as the Christian version of the cast of High Fidelity, which you are!

As for others, how much does it cost to raid a chick’s closet and make-up to become the lead singer of a great ’80’s hair metal band (but I repeat myself) or to rip up a shirt and jeans and throw 10 bucks on a mullet wig to be the greatest singer the world has ever known; no, not Billy Ray Cyrus; but the great Steve Perry!
God bless,

Matthew R. Rawling

Yes, a costume referencing the show “Action!” is a little too obscure. I know I never saw it and there’s not even a Wiki article about it!

I’m glad you guys are back. Goodbye Kara, hello Maya. My story takes place when I was around 8. I, too was going to our church’s fall festival as a lion. The night before, however, I got bit on my eyelid by a spider which made my eye swell up pretty bad. My mom, being quick with the wits, came up with a replacement costume: Steven post-stoning. Not as good as a lion, but clever nonetheless. Love the podcast and keep up the funny. Sincerely,

Robby West from AL

That is quite clever. Mark Lowry would be so proud of you mother!

And of course, how could we forget, “Thriller” (the import version).