the uneasy acquisition.
Posted on March 2, 2008
Filed Under Stephen Christian |
praise is an easy acquisition, anyone that considers you a friend or you consider them a friend would instantaneously extend a kind word upon request. compliments seem to waterfall from most parents (hopefully) at random occasions and most of the time you don’t even have to ask for their approval, they simply profess it without a proposition.
the challenge in life is not to acquire praise but seeking criticism; Wilma askinas said “A friend is someone who sees through you and still enjoys the view.” other people already know the dark/negative sides of us even when we ourselves cannot see it. it takes a real man or women to ask our true friends “what are some areas of my life you see i need to work on? what are some of my character flaws and how do you think i can improve them?”
by knowing the answers to these questions and NOT TAKING OFFENCE TO THE ANSWERS YOU RECIEVE, digesting them, and working on those areas in our life to improve ourselves we are not only working on/out our shortcomings but improving ourselves and the lives of the people around us.
Honest criticism is hard to take, particularly from a relative, a friend, an acquaintance, or a stranger. Franklin Jones
mr. jones was saying that criticism is going to be hard to take from anyone; and it will be. most friends are going to be VERY hesitant about giving you the truth until they see why you want it and trust you that you are not going to be defensive and begin to point out there flaws. unwanted criticism about personalities and character is the poison in the vein of a healthy friendship. never point out someone’s flaws just because you assume they want to change as well. if you do ask your friends the heart wrenching questions above you will see that one has to arrive in a particular mental state, prepared for the number of discouraging answers one might receive, before they even initially ask.
why not improve? why not question our family and friends with these questions? why live in a constant state of denial the rest of our lives? realize that the only person you are deceiving is yourself, everyone around you knows your shortcomings! what holds us back is not a lack of time, deep friendship, or honesty… it is merely PRIDE. it is the deception of self-righteousness that is the ugliest cause of the constant lack of improvement in our character and lives.
Kill Pride. Improve.
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6 Responses to “the uneasy acquisition.”
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Great post Stephen . . .
I love to say to new acquaintances - “Our relationship won’t be beneficial if we’re not gut-level honest with each other.”
It’s amazing the types of doors that expression has opened.
Stay well.
-travis
“Kill Pride. Improve.” Now that would make for a good t-shirt. Black with white lettering…I can see it now. =)
Thank you for the honest and jarring, words Stephen. I’m not sure I’ve ever asked such a question to a friend, but perhaps it’s time to get to that place where I can both ask and willfully receive the answers.
It’s good to see you blogging here again! Take care.
-Rachel
Whoa… I’ve been active on RELEVANTmagazine.com for a while, posting comments and such… never seen my bizaro world duplicate before!
Nice to (virtually) meet you… I guess.
-Travis
Dude. Kill Pride. Improve. Sold. I want an Anberlin tee with that in navy blue with neon piss yellow lettering. And also, glitter and some random scribbly’s on the rib area. Okay. sold.
Terrific post. I can’t stand to stay stagnant, but I don’t always ask for opinions… I must do that a bit more often. Cheers buddy, keep on posting here whenever, you’re fun to read.
Great post. My problem is that I try to go from where I am right now to perfect tomorrow. Praying for 12 hours a day and reading my Bible for the other 12… it just doesn’t work like that. Growth is gradual, and I don’t like to work at it. I would prefer a downloadable character upgrade.
Pride is my most common roadblock. Thinking that I’m good enough already and usually in comparison to the people around me. Ephesians 2:8-10 or James 4 usually check my pride pretty readily.
Eph2: Where would I be without Christ?
Jas4: What are the consequences of pride?
good stuff. Keep it up.
I write at: http://www.ministrytools.wordpress.com
Hey, I was just wondering if you had ever read the book Irresistable Revolution by Shane Claibourne? It is such a though-provoking commentary on the current state of the church, and tackles the issues of poverty and war in a way that I had never considered before. I think you would like it!