When you’re single, life affords you the ability to do all kinds of things. Really, that’s beauty of this time of life. But, there are certainly some thing that those of us who are singles should not be doing.
Here are three:
1. Don’t complain about being single.
Being single could be one of the best times of our lives or the worst. Of course, we love the idea of spending time with someone, and some—you know who you are—even have our weddings planned with no future bride or groom in sight.
The harsh reality is that many of us have not found our “Boaz or Ruth” yet. To be completely honest, God may have them scheduled to appear weeks, months or maybe years from now. Paul tells us, in Philippians 2:14, tells us to do everything without grumbling; this includes waiting for Mr. or Ms. Right.
Instead of sitting around waiting, try using your time wisely on a few things that will add value to your life. Traveling, learning a new skill, mentoring others, volunteering or serving in church are all great ways to gain new experiences and meet new people. There are so many opportunities in singleness, so why wait around and watch them pass you by.
Complaining about the issue makes it worse and also leads you to focus on the negatives instead of the positives.
Instead of complaining, show God that you are content with him alone and then maybe He’ll trust you with a relationship. He wants to know that when He does bring someone into your life, you won’t bail on Him and worship the gift rather than the gift-giver.
2. Don’t use others as void fillers.
Don’t get involved with the wrong person, just because you’re lonely or tired of being single. God already has a plan for our lives and we complicate things when we go against His will. One way I became content kept my mind off of being single is saying yes to new adventures.
I went cruising in the Bahamas, rock climbing, beach hopping, concerts and joined a small group at church. I made a choice to engage in activities that would enrich my life, instead of sitting home waiting on “the one.” You can do the same thing. God clearly has come to give us life and life more abundantly. Let’s not reject that abundance, but instead embrace it.
3. Don’t compare yourself to people in relationships.
I used to compare myself all the time. I use to compare clothes, jobs, friends, etc.
Comparison is definitely a self-esteem killer and it negates the idea of authenticity. God has called us to be set apart, even from one another. What God does in your life, may not be his intent for someone else’s life. Being single right now doesn’t mean that you’re going to be single forever or that you’re not worthy to be a wife or husband.
Maybe God just has some work for you to do in His kingdom and He doesn’t need you preoccupied with everything that a relationship or marriage demands. He may also want to refine you in some areas.
Singleness does not define who we are, but gives us time to understand and embrace who God has called us to be. Once we have this understanding, we may be ready to invite someone else in.