Some Christmas cards are accidentally inappropriate. These are the ones where your family friend overshares about their husband’s improving digestive health or where one of the other soccer parents talks about how many goals their kid has scored, and you know for a fact they haven’t scored nearly that many, thanks very much. Accidentally inappropriate Christmas cards cross a boundary, but they aren’t mean-spirited.

These are mean-spirited.

Behold seven purposefully inappropriate Christmas cards you can actually buy and send this year. Have someone you want to cut out of your life forever because you’ve offended them enough to block you across all forms of communication? Here’s your ticket to total severance.

1. Telling it like it is

Oh yikes. You’re really coming at the neck here. No one likes being labeled a bad gift-giver, but this does the trick quite nicely.
Source: Etsy

2. Ludachristmas

Heh. Actually, we kinda like this one, but maybe keep it to people within your age range. Don’t send Luda to your grandma. Luda shouldn’t be around any grandmas.
Source: Seas and Peas

3. The hard truth

Now you’re just stepping on dreams. Let the kids believe the lies of their parents, just this once.
Source: The Naughty Little Card Shop

4. The stone cold rejection

Not subtle, are you? This one delivers an extra sting once the receiver realizes the punchline literally replaces themselves. Yeesh.
Source: The Naughty Little Card Shop

5. The Yeezon for the Season

Ah man, sorry! Looks like your Christmas card was intercepted in the mail by Kanye West. How does he do that! Kanye is gonna let you finish, but right now he’s too busy having the best Christmas of all time.
Source: Seas and Peas

6. The constant reminder

You know what the worst possible thing to wake up to on Christmas morning is? An empty bed. Cold, we know. Don’t buy this card.
Source: The Naughty Little Card Shop

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