BY RELEVANT RELATIONSHIPS / LIFE February 11, 2014

Friendship.

Support.

Sexuality.

Family.

Recreation.

That’s why you get married. That’s why God created marriage.

Here’s the problem—that’s not why most people get married.

At least, that’s not why I got married. I got married to be happy.

Don’t get me wrong. I was into all that other stuff. She was my closest friend. There was a calling on our life together that we were excited about. Sex … uh … yes. And we both wanted a family one day. But none of those reasons were the reason.

Like millions upon millions of other Americans, I married for happiness.

That sounds innocuous at first glance. Heck, it sounds romantic. But the trouble is that happiness is the result of a healthy marriage. It’s not the reason for marriage. Happiness is a great thing, but it’s the by-product, the afterclap of marriage. It’s not the point.

God doesn’t look down on Adam and say, “He looks sad. He needs a lift. He needs another human being to quench the thirst of his soul. I will make him a helper to satisfy his deepest longings. Eve, the pressure’s on.” Of course not. Only God can do that.

A spouse is not a substitute for God.

The point of marriage isn’t to find our missing half. It’s to help each other become all God intended. Our future, real selves. In marriage, two people partner to that end. They see the best in each other—the person God created them to be—and they push and pull each other toward that goal.

Don’t get married because you think he or she is “the one.” Trust me, they’re not. There’s no such thing! But do get married when you see who God is making somebody to be, and it lights you up. When you want to be a part of that story of transformation, that journey to the future. When you are well aware it will be a long and bumpy ride, but you don’t want to miss one mile. Because you believe in God’s calling on them, and you want in.

My wife makes me a better person. She calls out the best in me. She calls me to live up to who I really am, to who God is making me to be.

She also brings out the worst in me. What Paul calls “the flesh.” The ugly, nasty part of me that doesn’t want to change. She exposes my selfishness and my pride.

That’s why marriage is humbling. I thought I was a pretty decent guy—and then I got married. Turns out I’m kind of a toolshed. It’s easy to be a decent guy when you live in a bubble. But when you step into marriage, your true colors bleed out. It’s like squeezing a sponge. Whatever is on the inside comes out, for better or for worse.

I cringe when I’m at a wedding where the guy says, “I promise to make you happy.” I want to stand up and scream, “You can’t keep that promise. It’s impossible. You aren’t God!”

Is it any wonder that the number-one justification for divorce is “I deserve to be happy”? If you put your faith in your spouse to make you happy, it’s only a matter of time until they let you down.

Our whole mindset on happiness is deeply flawed. “I deserve to be happy.” Really? I’m not sure that’s right.

All of life is a gift from the Creator God. We think we have the right to “life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness,” but contrary to what the American propaganda machine says, happiness is not a right. It’s a gift. God doesn’t owe you anything. And neither does your spouse. It’s all a gift.

You have to get this before you get married. Sadly, I didn’t, and it caused me so much pain. Not to mention how it hurt my wife.

If you go into marriage searching for happiness, all you will do is walk out filled with disillusionment. Don’t get me wrong. Marriage is incredible! But it’s not heaven on earth. It’s two broken people coming together to follow God’s calling on their lives.

Let marriage be marriage, and let God be God. Let marriage be for friendship and support and sex and family and re-creation. And let God be the well for your soul. Your source of life.

This doesn’t mean you won’t be happy in marriage. I am. Most of the best memories of my life have my wife attached to them. Our honeymoon in Europe, moving to Portland, starting a church, the birth of our first child, that vacation in Kauai—we did all of that together. And it was fun. If I were to edit her out of my story, it would be flat, anemic and boring.

Here’s what I’ve learned over the last few years. God is the source of my life, not my wife. She’s an amazing gift that I don’t deserve, but she’s not Jesus. It took me a long time to get this. And to be honest, I’m still pounding away on living it out. Hopefully, you’ll get this sooner than I did. Because the beauty of this way of living is that if and when happiness shows up on your doorstep, it’s icing on the cake.

This article is adapted with permission from Loveology.

RELEVANT

20 thoughts on “The Promise You Can't Keep in Marriage

  1. Do you need help to save your marriage, relationship or you want help to bring back your ex lover contact Dr. ikhine on agbadado@gmail.com or call him on +2347060552255 who help me solve my marriage problem

  2. My boyfriend dumped me a week ago after I accused him of seeing someone else and insulting him. I want him back in my life but he refuse to have any contact with me. I was so confuse and don’t know what to do, so I reach to the internet for help and I saw a testimony of how a spell caster help them to get their ex back so I contact the spell caster and explain my problem to him and he cast a spell for me and assure me of 2days that my ex will return to me and to my greatest surprise the second day my ex came knocking on my door and beg for forgiveness. I am so happy that my love is back again and not only that, we are about to get married. Once again thank you DR OJEFOR spell. You are truly talented and gifted. Email: DROJEFORSPELLCASTER@GMAIL.COM is the only answer. He can be of great help and I will not stop publishing him because he is a wonderful man…..
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  3. Hello every one i am a German citizen but with my family here i Canada, i had some problems in my marriage because thought i keep some secrets from him before we get married and i was unable to get pregnant because my husband hate it to sex with me that again develop to my filter problem but before we get married he so much love me and i love him as much so i decide to search for a solution on marriage site and from friends and i find so many spiritual doctors then i contacted three of them one after the other but they all disappointed me till my family seeks for divorce and he happily divorce me because he already find another lady. so while i was alone with pains i still look for solution every where till a meet with a friend of mine that just came from Germany then she direct me to this site where i read about great oshogumspelltemple@live.com on how he solve marriage, relationships, family , healing and so many testimony about him then me and my friend decide to contact despite i he told me about the materials that i must provide i just have to do all that he told me because of what other persons said about him. three days after we have done all he ask me to do, he said he have done everything i did not know how it will work because i could even contact my husband again he already block but i was so sup-rice Hashberg call our home line to ask of me. well we are happily married now with one kids but expecting another one soon. My dear contact oshogumspelltemple@live.com if you have any problem that give you pain. contact oshogumspelltemple@live.com today he is helpful and excellent

  4. I wish to share my testimonies with the general public about what this man called Dr.Kala has just done for me , this man has just brought back my lost Ex husband to me with his great spell, i was married to my husband we were together for a long time and we loved ourself but when i was unable to give him a child for 2 years he left me and told me he can’t continue anymore then i was now looking for ways to get him back until a friend of mine tell me about this man called Dr Kala and give me his contact email (kalalovespell@gmail.com) then you won’t believe this when i contacted this man on my problems he prepared this spell cast and bring my lost husband back, and after a month i miss my month and go for a test and the result stated am pregnant am happy today am a mother of a baby girl, thank you once again the great Dr.Kala for what you have done for me, if you are out there passing through this same kind of problems you can contact him today on his mail kalalovespell@gmail.com OR call his cell phone on +2347051705853

  5. I NEVER BELIEVED IN LOVE SPELLS UNTIL I MET THIS WORLD’S TOP SPELL CASTER. HE IS REALLY POWERFUL AND COULD HELP CAST SPELLS TO BRING BACK ONE’S GONE,LOST,MISBEHAVING LOVER AND MAGIC MONEY SPELL OR SPELL FOR A GOOD JOB,SPELL TO WIN A LOTTERY,SPELLS TO BE PROMOTED IN YOUR WORK, SPELL TO MAKE HAIR LONGER ,SPELL TO CURE ANYTYPE OF SICKNESS,SPELL TO GET VERY RICH AND MANY MORE SPELL .I’M NOW HAPPY & A LIVING TESTIMONY COS THE WOMAN I HAD WANTED TO MARRY LEFT ME 2 WEEKS BEFORE OUR WEDDING AND MY LIFE WAS UPSIDE DOWN COS OUR RELATIONSHIP HAS BEEN ON FOR 2YEARS… I REALLY LOVED HIM, BUT HIS MOTHER WAS AGAINST US AND HE HAD NO GOOD PAYING JOB. SO WHEN I MET THIS SPELL CASTER, I TOLD HIM WHAT HAPPENED AND EXPLAINED THE SITUATION OF THINGS TO HIM..AT FIRST I WAS UNDECIDED,SKEPTICAL AND DOUBTFUL, BUT I JUST GAVE IT A TRY. AND WHEN I RETURNED TO USA, MY GIRLFRIEND(NOW WIFE) CALLED ME BY HERSELF AND CAME TO ME APOLOGIZING THAT EVERYTHING HAD BEEN SETTLED WITH HIS MOM AND FAMILY AND SHE GOT A NEW JOB INTERVIEW SO WE SHOULD GET MARRIED..I DIDN’T BELIEVE IT COS THE SPELL CASTER ONLY ASKED FOR MY NAME AND MY GIRLFRIENDS NAME AND ALL I WANTED HIM TO DO… WELL WE ARE HAPPILY MARRIED NOW AND WE ARE EXPECTING OUR LITTLE KID,AND MY WIFE ALSO GOT THE NEW JOB AND OUR LIVES BECAME MUCH BETTER. IN CASE ANYONE NEEDS THE SPELL CASTER FOR SOME HELP, HIS EMAIL ADDRESS IS; PROPHETBAZ34@YAHOO.COM OR YOU CAN CALL HIM AT +2347053839123 ……HOPE HE HELPS YOU OUT OUR OPPORTUNITY … CONTACT THIS GREAT SPELL CASTER VIA EMAIL:PROPHETBAZ34@YAHOO.COM +2347053839123

  6. My name is Taylor Borg,All thanks goes to Dr.Trust for saving my marriage from toning apart.i feel so grateful and only have good words about a powerful spell caster named Dr.Trust who helped me bring back my wife. We had been apart for 4 months, at first I was thinking if I was doing the right thing by contacting a spell caster, but I so much love my wife and won’t give her up for anything in this world. I decided to contact Dr.Trust through his mail address I found on several testifiers messages online,and I told him about my situation, he laughed and told me my wife will be back to me in the next 48 hours. I felt it wasn’t going to happen at first until my wife called me and was so eager to have me back more than anything on earth.. Now we are together and she cant do without me,and both of us are happy. I feel so happy sharing this testimony because there was no negative act attached to his work. His work was smooth and fast. Thanks to Dr.Trust for bringing back happiness to my life. I swear with my life that Dr.Trust is a man to trust and take your problems to. You can contact him on his e-mail if you really truly want your love back. dr.(ULTIMATESPELLCAST@GMAIL.COM OT ULTIMATESPELLCAST@YAHOO.COM TEL: +2348156885231)

  7. HOW I GOT MY EX BACK

    I have been through hell and pain,looking for a good and real spell caster who can help me get my husband back.I have been scammed so many times,by some who claimed to be real spell casters.until i found the real and great spell caster at the Dr BRIGHT who helped me,and solved all my problems concerning my boyfriend who left me since eight months ago.and after that i also took my friend along,who was also having the same problem concerning he r husband,who left her since five months ago,and the problem was also solved by the same Dr John”. Can’t you see! the real and great spell caster is here,all you need to do now is to contact this same address whenever you are in any problem
    related to spell casting It took me a very long period of time,before i could get this real and great spell caster.So right now; drbrightspellcaster@gmail.com. is here,and the best for you to solve your problems…….

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  8. Lord Lugard, you are indeed a miracle worker.I have tried so many spell casters and psychic after my husband left me and told me to go and see the attorney for the divorce. And Lord Lugard was the only spell caster that could guarantee me an urgent 24hours spell casting.. and he assured me that my husband is coming back.. I trusted Lord Lugard, and its was more than a dream to see my husband back to my life with lots of apologies and love on the 7th of July 2014…. And he was remorseful for all his wrong actions… For sure this is really a miracle temple..make contact with him for help on his Website: http://miracletemplespell.webs.com or through his Email address: miracletemple@live.com… Sir I will share your Testimony all over… Cynthia Rashawn frm Florida…

  9. I am joes candra, I promise to share this testimony all over the world once my boyfriend return back to me, and today with all due respect i want to thank DR.OSAUYI for bringing joy and happiness to my relationship and my family. I want to inform you all that there is a spell caster that is real and genuine. I never believed in any of these things until i loosed my boyfriend, I required help until i found a grate spell caster, And he cast a love spell for me, and he assured me that I will get my boyfriend back in two days after the spell has been cast. Three days later, my phone rang, and so shockingly, it was my boyfriend who has not called me for past 6 years now, and made an apology for the heart break, and told me that he is ready to be my back bone till the rest of his life with me. DR.OSAUYI released him up to know how much i loved and wanted him. And opened his eyes to picture how much we have share together. As I`m writing this testimony right now I`m the most happiest girl on earth and me and my boyfriend is living a happy life and our love is now stronger than how it were even before our break up. So that`s why I promised to share my testimony all over the universe.All thanks goes to DR.OSAUYI for the excessive work that he has done for me. Below is the email address in any situation you are undergoing a heart break, and I assure you that as he has done mine for me, he will definitely help you too. OSAUYILOVESPELL@GMAIL.COM that is his email address bye. web site http://osauyilovespell.webs.com

  10. My Names is sharon britto,AM from United states .i never believed in love spells or magic until i met this spell caster once when i went to Africa in June last year on a business summit i meet a man called Dr Tafar, is powerful he could help you cast a spells to bring back my love s gone misbehaving lover looking for some one to love you bring back lost money and magic money spell or spell for a good job i m now happy & a living testimony cos the man i had wanted to marry left me 4weeks before our wedding and my life was upside down cos our relationship has been on for 3 year i really loved him, but his mother was against me and he had no good paying job so when i met this spell caster, i told him what happened and explained the situation of things to him at first i was undecided,skeptical and doubtful, but i just gave it a try and in 6 days when i returned to taxes my boyfriend (is now my husband ) he called me by himself and came to me apologizing that everything had been settled with his mom and family and he got a new job interview so we should get married i didn’t believe it cos the spell caster only asked for my name and my boyfriends name and all i wanted him to do well we are happily married now and we are expecting our little kid and my husband also got a new job and our lives became much better in case anyone needs the spell caster for some help his email address: Tafarlovespell@gmail.com

  11. This is a very joyful day of my life because of the help Dr.Shiva has rendered to me by helping me get my ex husband back with his magic and love spell. i was married for 6 years and it was so terrible because my husband was really cheating on me and was seeking for a divorce but when i came across Dr.Shiva email on the internet on how he help so many people to get thier ex back and help fixing relationship.and make people to be happy in their relationship. i explained my situation to him and then seek his help but to my greatest surprise he told me that he will help me with my case and here i am now celebrating because my Husband has change totally for good. He always want to be by me and can not do anything without my present. i am really enjoying my marriage, what a great celebration. i will keep on testifying on the internet because Dr.Shiva is truly a real spell caster. DO YOU NEED HELP THEN CONTACT DOCTOR SHIVA NOW VIA EMAIL: reunitingexspell@yahoo.com or call +2347051705853 or reunitingexspell2@gmail.com . He is the only answer to your problem and make you feel happy in your relationship.

  12. My name is emma brown, i want to use this medium to testify of how i got back my boyfriend after 8months of seperation, I and my boyfriend broke up on the 12th of August because he felt i was cheating on him with a male friend of mine, i tried all i could to explain to him but he paid deaf ears, i was emotionally devastated because i really did love him until i saw a post on the internet about a spell caster, who helps people gain back their lost love, at first i doubted if it was real because i never believed in spells but decided to give it a try, when i contacted this spell caster, he helped me cast a re-union spell and i got back my boyfriend within 48hours (2days). Contact this great spell caster for your relationship or marriage problems via email dradelabispelltemple@gmail.com….
    if you are out there passing through any of
    this problems listed below:

    1) If you want your ex back.
    (2) if you always have bad dreams.
    (3) You want to be promoted in your office.
    (4) You want women/men to run after you.
    (5) If you want a child.
    (6) You want to be rich.
    (7) You want to tie your husband/wife to be
    yours forever.
    (8) How you been scammed and you want to recover you lost money
    (9) If you are a lesbian or gay and you need your partner back

  13. my boyfriend of two years let me for another girl because i accuse him of seen another girl and since then i have been trying to get him but he refuse to come back to me,he was not responding to my call or email and he even unfriend me in facebook and he told me that he is done with me.i was searching on the internet for help and i saw a testimony of how a spell caster help them to get their ex back so i decided to give it a try and i contacted him and i explain my problems to him and he cast a love spell for me and guarantee me of 3days that my ex will come back to me and to my greatest surprise the third day a great miracle fell on me and my ex come back to me on the third day and he beg me for forgiveness camaralovespell@live.com i will continue to publish his name because he is my Savior and we are about to get married.if you need him to help you Email camaralovespell@live.com

  14. This is incredible!! I still imagine how Priest Quanda brought my husband back to me in just 24 hours.. No one could have ever made me believe that this testimony that I’m about to write now would actually one day be written by me. because I was the world’s biggest skeptic. I never believed in magic spells or anything like that, but I was told by a trustworthy source (a very close co-worker) that Priest Quanda is a very devoted, talented, and gifted spell caster, and after much cajole she got me to visit this website.It was one of the most excellent thing I have ever done in my whole life. My love life was in total mess after my husband dumped me for another woman. I had been through two divorces and was on the brink of a third. I just couldn’t face another divorce, and I wanted to try harder to make our relationship work, but my husband didn’t seem to care. So, with nothing but my pride to lose, I checked it out. I was flabbergasted. This man is for REAL. He did whatever magic he does, and lo and behold – no more than 24 hours later, I had my husband back! It was like a miracle! He suddenly wanted to go to marriage psychotherapy, and we’re doing very, very well right now. and now he has loved me more than ever..Thank you so much Priest Quanda for your Love and for reuniting my family back sir. Website: http://priestquandahighmagicspell.webs.com and his Email: priestquandahighmagicspell@outlook.com. Sara Tekle..

  15. This is incredible!! I still imagine how Priest Quanda brought my husband back to me in just 24 hours.. No one could have ever made me believe that this testimony that I’m about to write now would actually one day be written by me. because I was the world’s biggest skeptic. I never believed in magic spells or anything like that, but I was told by a trustworthy source (a very close co-worker) that Priest Quanda is a very devoted, talented, and gifted spell caster, and after much cajole she got me to visit this website.It was one of the most excellent thing I have ever done in my whole life. My love life was in total mess after my husband dumped me for another woman. I had been through two divorces and was on the brink of a third. I just couldn’t face another divorce, and I wanted to try harder to make our relationship work, but my husband didn’t seem to care. So, with nothing but my pride to lose, I checked it out. I was flabbergasted. This man is for REAL. He did whatever magic he does, and lo and behold – no more than 24 hours later, I had my husband back! It was like a miracle! He suddenly wanted to go to marriage psychotherapy, and we’re doing very, very well right now. and now he has loved me more than ever..Thank you so much Priest Quanda for your Love and for reuniting my family back sir. Website: http://priestquandahighmagicspell.webs.com and his Email: priestquandahighmagicspell@outlook.com. Sara Tekle..

  16. My name is Taylor Borg,All thanks goes to Dr.Trust for saving my marriage from toning apart.i feel so grateful and only have good words about a powerful spell caster named Dr.Trust who helped me bring back my wife. We had been apart for 4 months, at first I was thinking if I was doing the right thing by contacting a spell caster, but I so much love my wife and won’t give her up for anything in this world. I decided to contact Dr.Trust through his mail address I found on several testifiers messages online,and I told him about my situation, he laughed and told me my wife will be back to me in the next 48 hours. I felt it wasn’t going to happen at first until my wife called me and was so eager to have me back more than anything on earth.. Now we are together and she cant do without me,and both of us are happy. I feel so happy sharing this testimony because there was no negative act attached to his work. His work was smooth and fast. Thanks to Dr.Trust for bringing back happiness to my life. I swear with my life that Dr.Trust is a man to trust and take your problems to. You can contact him on his e-mail if you really truly want your love back. dr.(ULTIMATESPELLCAST@GMAIL.COM OT ULTIMATESPELLCAST@YAHOO.COM TEL: +2348156885231)

  17. my name is robin jane,me and my loved cherished ourselves for good 2years and every thing was going on smoothly but we both had misunderstanding and he told me that the relationship is over and that he is fed up with me and I plead to him because I love him so much but he refused me I was so down I felt the world has come to an end for me but my friend told me about a spell caster that helped her sister out in getting her relationship back, a good job and favor in any of her endeavor. but at first I was scared but I have to give this man a try because I love my ex very much and I am not willing to loose him to any woman, so I ordered for a returning love spell from this great spell caster called Dr.Zaba that made me a happy girl again to say it all my ex lover came back to me with so much love and a caring heart. Dr.Zaba indeed you are really the best spell caster to work with.you can contact this man via email if you really need to get your problems solve Makiaderspelltemple@hotmail.com he website http://makiaderspelltemple.webs.com

  18. Hello everyone, I am proud to testify this testimony. i saw a post on how a lady got her husband back and i decided to try the spell caster that helped her because my relationship was crashing. although i never believed in spell work i reluctantly tried him because i was desperate but to my greatest surprise the spell caster Dr Camara helped me get my husband back after 5 month of divorce and my relationship is now perfect just as he promised my husband now treats me like a queen even when he had told me before he doesn’t love me anymore. well, i cannot say much but if you are passing through difficulties in your relationship contact him on his email: camaralovespell@live.com he is the only answer to relationship problems once again his email is CAMARALOVESPELL@LIVE.COM

  19. Finally my lover is back with the help of priest omigodo in just 24hours with his powerful love spell if you need any kind of spell to bring back your lover contact the great priest omigodo via email: omigodoshrine@gmail.com or call his personal phone number on +2348079367204

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