10 Things We Miss About '90s Christian Bookstores

The retail scene has changed a lot since Amazon came on the scene, and not always for the better.

BY RELEVANT CULTURE February 16, 2015

The world is changing. You can feel it in the water. You can feel it in the sky. You can definitely feel it in the bookstores, where the digital revolution has taken its toll. Following the advent of eBay, Amazon and, well, blogs, bookstores are different places. Just ask the people who used to work at Borders. Things ain’t what they used to be.

Christian bookstores aren’t exempt from this. Family Christian Bookstores, the largest Christian bookstore chain in America, recently filed for Chapter 11 bankruptcy protection. They don’t plan on laying off any employees, but it’s a reminder of how different things are now from the bookstores many of us grew up around. And in the spirit of those bookstores, which are quickly going the way of all flesh, here’s a list of a few things we’ll miss about them.

Theologically Questionable Jesus Toys
We’re not saying that Jesus wouldn’t run the read option or take ride on a sweet hog, we’re just saying it may qualify as a grey area.


Read Option Jesus


American Chopper Jesus

Copyright-skirting Jesus Shirts
Nothing says “checkmate, atheists” like one of these.


Admit it, you owned this one.


Sweet.


There’s a lot going on here.

Super Fancy Robes
They definitely look more comfortable than suits.


Crushed velvet is the new black.


A sleek, subtle choice.

Shofars
Surprisingly, these are only stores in the mall that still sell ancient instruments fashioned from the horns of large rams.


Own the whole collection.

Majestic Lions Printed on Stuff
We have C.S. Lewis to thank for this trend.


A perfect accessory to your power suit.


To drink your coffee from while wearing your faux-Starbucks shirt.

Patriotic Jesus Art
JesUSA


American flag robe sold separately, alas.


There’s also a lot going on here.

Edible Scriptures
Bread of Heaven. Snacks of earth.


Because your breath isn’t the only thing that needs freshening.


“The red jellybeans represent Christ’s blood shed for us.”

Very Demographic-Specific Bibles
When an ordinary Bible just won’t cut it.


Rad!


No nerds allowed.

Loving Bumper Stickers
And they shall know we are Christians by our cars.


Not to be a stickler, but that fish definitely looks like it’s about to fry.


Comic Sans, just to rub it in.

Katy Hudson CD’s
Only true youth group kids know the full tale of the woman the world would come to know as Katy Perry. And Christian bookstores are about the only proof of her past that still exists.


Never forget.

RELEVANT

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