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5 Takeaways From the Absolutely Terrible ‘Venom’ Trailer

5 Takeaways From the Absolutely Terrible ‘Venom’ Trailer

The trailer for the upcoming Venom movie was released yesterday. It looks so, so bad. There’s all kinds of weird choices in this ad, plus a bunch of strange humor and some lines that make you question if a robot wrote the script in an attempt to disguise itself as a bad screenwriter.

Some more takeaways:

  • To say that Tom Hardy’s accent in this trailer is “misguided” is the biggest understatement since the SBC said it might need to implement some changes. What a choice. He sounds like a Peaky Blinders character had too much to drink and started a Dropkick Murphys cover band.
  • Oh, and take it from a pro reporter in relation to Eddie Brock: Reporters don’t ride motorcycles, thrive in danger or look like Tom Hardy. Tricky mode of believability to overcome.
  • The duality of Tom Hardy fighting the symbiote is interesting, but in practice the manifestation of Venom is so, so weird. I mean, we suppose it technically looks like the comics, but it also looks a bit ridiculous onscreen in relation to human characters.
  • Looks like we’re going to see a classic origin story in which the “hero” fights the dark version of himself. We had this in Iron Man, Thor, Ant-Man and even Black Panther to an extent. This is super old. There are tons of classic villains in the Spider-Man/Venom universe. Just give us Carnage or something already.
  • Venom saying “turd” is a thing we all have to live with now.

The movie’s out Oct. 5. That’s a thing we just kind of have to write for the heck of it.

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