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Warning: Disney’s Buying Up Your Childhood

BY RELEVANT CULTURE / FILM / ISSUE 61 December 15, 2012

It started in 2008, when Walt Disney surprised almost everyone by buying Marvel Comics for $4 billion, throwing superhero fans into super panic attacks about the inevitable fates of Spider-Man, the X-Men and all the rest. Horrific conspiracy theories about a diamond-slippered Wolverine or a mouse-eared Iron Man got the blogosphere seeing angriest red.

The result was actually something much savvier. Films like The Amazing Spider-Man and The Avengers were not only surprisingly good—they also had Disney minting money. In the middle of a movie market on the downturn, The Avengers raked in over $600 million at the box office, making it one of only three films to ever do so.

So, it turns out Disney may not be such a bad holding tank for your childhood after all. That, at least, seems to be their thinking. The House of Mouse has dug deep into its nearly bottomless pockets over the last few months to rope in nearly every piece of nostalgia you’ve got.

If getting Marvel was like capturing geekdom’s queen, then its next move was the checkmate. On October 30, Disney dropped another $4 billion for Lucasfilm, gaining the rights to Star Wars and immediately promising to release Episode VII in 2015, with another sequel to follow every two to three years.

And Disney’s not done yet. As of print, they were in talks to net Hasbro, which would give them exclusive rights to pretty much everything in your childhood toychest.

What Else Should Disney Buy?
Hostess

After all, the Twinkie’s recipe is up for grabs.

Nickelodeon

Can’t you just see Dora the Explorer as a Disney princess?