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International Incident: Justin Bieber’s Monkey Detained in Germany

International Incident: Justin Bieber’s Monkey Detained in Germany

We typically don’t get dragged into celebrity gossip stories, but sometimes, stories so heartbreaking, so culturally transcendent happen in the lives of pop-stars, that we must take note. This is one of those stories. Justin Bieber’s pet monkey, Mally, has been detained in Germany. Though spokespeople for the infamous primate said that he was placed in quarantine because of a minor paperwork discrepancy, it’s evident that this excuse is just a façade for what is clearly a troubled monkey. The careless flaunting of international customs laws is just the latest in a series of reckless behavior for the monkey: His continued diva-ish demands for dozens of peeled bananas, a propensity to climb all over everything and his inability to sit still not act like some kind of wild animal, has led us to believe that Mally is continuing to go down a destructive path …

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