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Sadly, the Time Has Come to Admit That the New ‘Minions’ Soundtrack Looks Awesome

Who’s excited for the new Minions movie? Make some noise! We can’t hear you! Probably because you aren’t saying anything, because you’re an adult and are way too cool for the new Minions movie. Fair enough. But what if we told you the new Minions movie has a soundtrack that features the likes of Phoebe Bridgers, Weyes Blood, Bleachers, Brockhampton, H.E.R., St. Vincent, Thundercat, Tierra Whack. Brittany Howard, RZA and a Tame Impala/Diana Ross collab? Who’s too cool for what now? 

Yes, it’s a time-honored tradition. Whenever a franchise gets nervous about losing that coveted 18-25 demographic, they marshal their monetary resources to putting together a Pitchfork-approved roster for a soundtrack even the most jaded liberal arts dropout can’t entirely ignore. We’re not exactly huge Minions fans over here, but do you think we’re gonna miss an opportunity to hear what Tama Impala and Diana Ross have been cooking up together? Do we look stupid to you?

The culprit here appears to be Jack Antonoff, the perennially red-hot producer who probably cashed Universal Studios’ check right after sending out a big group text to all his celebrity friends: minions movie thing. million dollars per track. byo song. first come, first serve.

Easy as pie. Hey, hate the game, not the player.

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Based on the track listing, nobody involved even had to write their own song. It’s a bunch of covers from the 1970s which, if anything, sounds even more irresistible. Who wouldn’t want to hear St. Vincent tackle “Funkytown” or check out “Dance to the Music” as covered by H.E.R.? True, the track listing does threaten Simon and Garfunkle’s “Cecilia” as covered by the actual Minions but that’s what skip buttons are for.

Minions: The Rise of Gru is apparently the name of the movie. If you have small children if your life, you are probably already aware of that and will be watching the movie something like 50 times a week until the Lord returns. The silver lining is that the music will probably be pretty good. Check out the full tracklisting below.

“Turn Up the Sunshine,” Diana Ross ft. Tame Impala
“Shining Star,” Brittany Howard ft. Verdine White (Earth, Wind & Fire, 1975)
“Funkytown,” St. Vincent (Lipps Inc., 1979)
“Hollywood Swinging,” BROCKHAMPTON (Kool & The Gang, 1974)
“Desafinado,” Kali Uchis (Stan Getz & Joao Gilberto, 1959)
“Bang Bang,” Caroline Polachek (Nancy Sinatra, 1966)
“Fly Like an Eagle,” Thundercat (Steve Miller Band, 1976)
“Goodbye to Love,” Phoebe Bridgers (The Carpenters, 1972)
“Instant Karma!,” Bleachers (John Lennon, 1970)
“You’re No Good,” Weyes Blood (Linda Ronstadt, 1975)
“Vehicle,” Gary Clark Jr. (The Ides of March, 1970)
“Dance to the Music,” H.E.R. (Sly and The Family Stone, 1967)
“Black Magic Woman,” Tierra Whack (Santana, 1970)
“Cool,” Verdine White
“Born to Be Alive,” Jackson Wang (Patrick Hernandez, 1979)
“Cecilia,” The Minions (Simon & Garfunkel, 1970)
“Bang Bang,” G.E.M. (Nancy Sinatra, 1966)
“Kung Fu Suite,” RZA
“Minions: The Rise of Gru Score Suite,” Heitor Pereira

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