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‘Operation: Clone a Wooly Mammoth’ Is a Go

Russian scientists have discovered what is the best preserved wooly mammoth carcass in history, and that’s enough for Russian academics to give the go-ahead to a team of paleontologists and one very controversial South Korean biologist to try and make a real, live one from its DNA sample. The mammoth in question was just pulled out of q Siberian island in the Novosibirsk archipelago, and researchers feel confident that they’ll be able to utilize its blood samples—just like in Jurassic Park, a movie that, clearly, nobody involved in this project has ever seen—to implant a wooly mammoth egg into an elephant womb. And, next thing you know, we’ll have wooly mammoths stomping around again, no worse for the wear, with no idea that they have been brought back to life after thousands of years in exile and are now the top of the food chain …

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