As we know, Christian rap parodies are just not very good. They’re usually made by people who only seem to have the faintest idea of what rap actually sounds like, and are more than happy to substitute vaguely rhyming words for actual rapping, which is like drawing a stick figure of Michaelangelo’s David and expecting people to think it’s a laugh riot. It’s not. Nor are Christian rap parodies.
But miracles still come to the faithful, and that is apparent today after a picture of Pope Francis hit the Internet in which he looks for all the world like he’s about to drop the hottest album of 2015. Twitter fell in love with the picture and started putting together some real lyrics for MC Francis and, what do you know, a lot of them are terrific.
Thus was #PopeBars born, and it’s a late entry for one of the best hashtags of the year. Here are just a few of our favorites.
@tanehisicoates "Yea, I sampled your sermon, you were doin it wrong.
You made it a hot prayer I made it a hot psalm" #PopeBars
— Kylo Ren the Jewels (@Jarrettjawn) November 30, 2015
"Walk a road of great length
you find too long to measure.
My prelates make me rhyme
like D Banner under pressure" pic.twitter.com/S1ZKQZclUR
— Ta-Nehisi Coates (@tanehisicoates) November 30, 2015
@tanehisicoates I'm a pontiff for the people; I stand up for the meek/I cut the head off the devil then I turn the other cheek
— Greg Pak (@gregpak) November 30, 2015
I'm just tryna pray through it , heard the devil makin threats tell em come do it . #PopeBars pic.twitter.com/XgcZ7tyW1s
— zoey dollaz (@ZoeyDollaz) November 30, 2015
From Jesus of Nazareth to the resurrection of Lazarus All across Vatican City my flow is hazardous. #PopeBars pic.twitter.com/IeSZnSUNww
— David Re-ville (@Peve20) November 30, 2015
God is the Father,but all yall are my sons, Pray I don't take your girl and make her one of my nuns #PopeBars pic.twitter.com/KyfxjvRhUF
— TheNegroStableBuck (@jaclyn41random) November 30, 2015
First things first, give God the glory, He's the one and only Father no need for Maury. #PopeBars pic.twitter.com/SlwhksgrTX
— RayRay™ (@BigLen22) November 30, 2015
I use to hustle to be on top, until I finally realized someone died for that spot #PopeBars pic.twitter.com/Zfp8oIjWSJ
— Ndinelago (@T_i_i_n_a) November 30, 2015
Drake and Meek Mill beef on whose rhymes are tighter,
but don't forget about me and my Holy Ghostwriter. #PopeBars pic.twitter.com/dNJKX1D01G
— Nico Cuevas (@NicoSaysThings) November 30, 2015
Small-time atheist, fall back with your evil, God's in my squad, and my crib's a cathedral #PopeBars pic.twitter.com/Oqfc5BPilr
— M. Salinas (@okMute) November 30, 2015
