Using AI to write a school paper is one thing. Using it to write a text to a friend feels different. But that’s exactly what a growing number of young people are doing, and researchers are beginning to pay attention.
AI has quickly become part of everyday life for Gen Z. Students use it for homework. Young professionals use it at work. Increasingly, some are using it to help navigate personal conversations. They ask chatbots to rewrite texts, suggest responses and help them communicate during difficult situations. Researchers are still trying to understand how widespread the trend has become, but psychologists are already asking what happens when technology starts taking over one of the most important parts of human relationships.
According to Common Sense Media, about one-third of young people report using AI in some capacity for social interaction or relationships. That doesn’t necessarily mean they’re all using it to write text messages, but Dr. Michael Robb, head of research at Common Sense Media, says the broader trend is significant enough to warrant closer attention.
Part of the appeal is obvious. Communicating with other people can be stressful, especially when emotions are involved. A difficult text can sit unsent for hours while someone rewrites it repeatedly, trying to find the right words. AI promises an easier path. Instead of struggling through uncertainty, users can ask a chatbot to polish a message or suggest what to say next.
“I think it is a safer space to practice,” Robb said. “Teens might be able to practice their conversations or have it filter through an AI that can polish it so that they are less likely to feel embarrassment or rejection or criticism of what they’re saying.”
That explanation makes sense in light of broader concerns about anxiety among young people. While researchers don’t yet know exactly why some teens are turning to AI for communication help, Robb says it’s reasonable to suspect that social anxiety could be part of the story.
“It’s a very plausible hypothesis that if you are somebody who struggles with social anxiety and this is something that you think makes it easier for you to communicate with your peers, that this might be something you turn to,” he said.
For some people, that sounds like a positive use of technology. If AI helps someone communicate more clearly or feel more confident, what’s the downside? Robb believes the answer depends on whether the technology is helping people build skills or quietly replacing them.
“The concern is that it actually ends up being harmful in the end and that you don’t develop the skills both to learn how to communicate for yourself or to articulate the ideas in your own head,” he said.
That concern gets at the heart of why psychologists are watching this trend so closely. Communication isn’t simply a way to exchange information. It’s how people learn to express themselves, navigate conflict and build relationships. Those abilities tend to develop through experience, which means there are no shortcuts around the awkward parts.
During our conversation, Robb repeatedly returned to the idea of vulnerability. Healthy relationships require people to share what they’re thinking and feeling without knowing exactly how the other person will respond. That process can be uncomfortable, but he worries AI may be making it easier to avoid.
“You don’t get the practice of making yourself vulnerable, which is something that you have to do in day-to-day communication with your friends and family and romantic partners anyway,” he said.
Robb believes that discomfort serves an important purpose because it helps people develop the skills they need for healthy relationships over time.
“Real relationships require some level of discomfort because it means you have to be able to express your feelings to somebody,” he said. “You have to be able to risk rejection, you have to be able to work through conflict. You have to be able to see something from somebody else’s perspective.”
“AI can eliminate that discomfort, which means that teens aren’t necessarily building the skills that they need.”
At the same time, Robb isn’t arguing that AI has no value. He can imagine situations where it functions as a temporary support system. Someone struggling with severe social anxiety, for example, might use AI to practice conversations or organize their thoughts before speaking with another person. In that scenario, the technology could help someone gain confidence rather than replace their ability to communicate.
The distinction comes down to whether AI becomes less important over time.
“What you want is for the AI itself to become less and less important,” Robb said. “It should be scaffolding the teen to be able to express themselves independently without the AI and then pull the support back as teens get better at it.”
What concerns him is the possibility that the opposite is happening.
“What could be happening is that kids just become more and more reliant on it and less able to depend on their own judgment and skills in having conversations with others,” he said.
Researchers still have more questions than answers about how AI-assisted communication may affect relationships in the long run. The technology is evolving quickly, and there is very little data showing what happens when people regularly rely on AI during personal conversations. Robb says that makes this an important area for future study.
“I think this is just a really interesting use case that we don’t have a lot of data on,” he said. “I think it’d be really interesting to find out more about how frequently and how in-depth kids are using AI to text.”
For now, he believes young people should think carefully about what role they want AI to play in their relationships. He doesn’t think communication has to be perfect, and he worries that the pursuit of perfectly crafted responses may come at the expense of something more valuable.
“I think it’s okay to express yourself and be okay with the way that you communicate not being perfect,” he said. “That is a very natural way to communicate.”
Robb’s broader concern is less about technology itself than about what happens when technology begins substituting for human connection. As AI becomes more capable and more accessible, he believes people should be asking whether a chatbot is helping them communicate or slowly taking over the job.
“Anything that uses AI as a tool to substitute for the human connection you could be making is probably not a good use of AI,” he said.
Researchers are still debating what this trend ultimately means, and there isn’t enough evidence yet to draw sweeping conclusions. What is already clear, however, is that AI has moved beyond helping people write essays or answer questions. It is increasingly finding its way into relationships, and psychologists like Robb are paying close attention to what that might mean for a generation that is still learning how to communicate.
