We’re in the shaggiest part of the dog days of summer. The sun is still strolling lazily through the sky, baking us all in its wake. You can still get a nice tan on your afternoon walk, and sip a cold beverage to cool down during the hottest part of the day before lounging on the front porch as the sun sets. Yes, the late days of summer are here and you know what that means. School is on its way back. Football is gearing up. And Christian Girl Fall is rousing from her slumber at last.
You know all about Christian Girl Fall, right? The chunky scarf? The delicately distressed jeans? The boots?
as summer nears its end, her power grows.. pic.twitter.com/JRkuK4vRgt
— mallewi. ⛔️ (@mallewi) August 9, 2022
The Fall season is fast approaching, Hot Girl Summer is OUT! Embracing Super Freaky Christian Autumn Girl IKTR! 🍂💆♀️ He want A S A IIIIIII N TEA ☕️ pic.twitter.com/5PZjvf7S49
— Klair-O-Spinach (@ClairoSpinach) August 13, 2022
September 1st mark your calendars for the return of Christian girl fall pic.twitter.com/2a5QrMIzG6
— v (@pilatesfille) August 16, 2022
But what’s that? You’re not ready for Christian Girl Fall? Well, you’re in luck. You’ve still got some time to prepare, and we’re here to guide you through every step of the process. Just get that credit card ready and your Christian Girl Fall will be the talk of Bible study.
You’ve got to ground the whole look in a boot that sings “I’ve never been camping, but I am ready just in case.” These L.L. Bean boots do the trick, but don’t be afraid of a nice Chelsea boot, which has a little more of a “I’ve definitely been on stage, and I am ready to do it again at any moment.”
Sure, baggy jeans are in now as the Courtney Love girlies are finally having their moment, but the Christian Girl Fall look is immune to trends, which come and go with the tide. To have a real Christian Girl Fall, you’ll want to stick with a genuine skinny fit and maybe some light distressing (nothing too scandalous!). These Madewell jeans will do the trick.
A big, chunky cable knit sweater the color of coffee that you can wrap yourself in to protect you from the cold and to protect your heart from the devil’s schemes. You can find this in thrift shops if you know how to hunt, or check out Reformation for some good options.
Channel your inner Columbo and have plenty of pockets for your Bible, Jen Hatmaker’s latest, a journal you got in youth group and your Starbucks gift cards in a caramel trench.
If you missed Taylor Swift’s Red-branded scarf, never fear. There are still plenty of chunky, toasty scarves big enough to double as a full-length gown in a pinch on the market.
Now don’t cheat on this one. The hat is the crowning achievement of the look, much like humanity is the crown of creation. You want a brim wide enough to double as a serving platter — something that looks a little bit Stevie Nicks, a little bit Wednesday Addams and a lot of Christian Girl Fall.
You’ve already got one of these, right? Right??