On Thursday, it was confirmed that the Disney remake machine has turned its attention towards Hercules. Of course, at this point, they don’t even really need to announce these things, since it’s safe to assume that pretty much every animated Disney movie is somewhere on the conveyer belt. Nevertheless, this one is moving forward at a nice clip. It’s got the Russo brothers, (of Captain America: Civil War and Avengers: Endgame and Infinity War fame) producing, and the script is being written by Dave Callaham, who’s handled a lot of the Marvel movies. Seeing as Hercules is basically a superhero story, this all makes sense.
But that begs the question, which Hollywood Chris will play Hercules? Oh, you just know they’re gonna get a Hollywood Chris for this. Evans, Hemsworth, Pine and Pratt were all just getting used to being able to eat an actual carb again and now they’re going to be asked to get back into beefcake shape for the most musclebound myth of them all.
Of course, it’d be excellent to see someone younger get a shot at a role like this. But, well, this is Disney we’re talking about here. Time will tell just how adventurous they’re feeling, but we’re feeling Jason Mantzoukas for the role. He’s “100 percent Greek” (his words!) and could put the stunning comedic sensibilities he displayed on The Good Place and Parks and Rec to good use.
Of course, a lot of fun could be had with casting here. Ariana Grande certainly has the attitude and ponytail for Megara, although it’d be fun to see someone like Aubrey Plaza get her shot at playing a Disney princess. James Woods voiced Hades in the 1997 original, a role that now seems ready for the likes of some chaotic energy like Taika Waititi, perhaps? But of course, we will accept no one but the original Danny DeVito for Phil, the satyr who trains and eventually befriends our hero.
And then the Muses! Lillias White, Vanéese Y. Thomas, Cheryl Freeman, LaChanze and Roz Ryan provided the gospel soundtrack that was easily the movie’s most memorable quality. The star quality possibilities boggle the mind here, but let’s just say SZA should tell her assistant to drive a hard bargain.