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The Bacon Shortage Is Our Generation’s Black Plague

The Bacon Shortage Is Our Generation’s Black Plague

Global warming. The Mayan Calendar. Giant asteroids. Scientists and religious groups have been warning us for years about impending global disasters that threaten to rend the very fabric of our society asunder. But no one—no politician, prophet or professor—could have ever predicted this:

The world’s pig farmers are warning of a shortage of bacon and pork next year because pig-feed has become unaffordable following disastrous growing and harvesting weather,” reads a statement from the NPA released earlier this month. Governments are becoming increasingly concerned …A world shortage of pork and bacon next year is now unavoidable. New data shows the European Union pig herd is declining at a significant rate, and this is a trend that is being mirrored around the world.

A bacon shortage. The Great Bacon Shortage of 2013, as it will be named in hushed tones by generations to come, who will only be able to shudder a sigh of relief that they did not live to see such dark days. But that is future generations. For us, it is the foreboding present, one we must each face with resolve, resolution and nerves. Hold your loved ones. Steel yourself. But your bacon in the deep freeze. Winter is coming …

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