Subject: 🇺🇸 DISCIPLES’ 4th of JULY BBQ — Planning Thread
From: Peter ([email protected])
To: The Twelve
Date: July 1, 33 AD
Brothers,
It’s time.
We’re throwing a 4th of July BBQ. Yes, I know it’s technically a few centuries early, but the Spirit moves where He pleases, and He has chosen now.
Let’s each take a role so we can throw a celebration worthy of the Kingdom (and also maybe grill some fish). I’ve started the planning below:
- Location: My backyard (just patched the roof again after the rooster incident)
- Start time: 3 p.m. sharp. Fireworks at 9.
- Theme: FREEDOM (in Christ… but also in the patriotic sense?)
Thoughts? Who’s bringing what?
Grace and grill, Peter
From: Thomas ([email protected])
Re: BBQ Planning
Are we sure this is a good idea? Do we even know how many are coming? What if it rains? What if it doesn’t rain but the grill explodes? Just throwing out possibilities.
Also, I was supposed to bring buns. Does brioche feel too indulgent? I can’t decide.
-T
From: Judas ([email protected])
Re: BBQ Planning
I grabbed drinks! Hope everyone likes “Dr. Zest” and “Mount Chill.” The guy at the market said it’s just like the name-brand stuff.
Also picked up a few “discount” sparklers. No label, but they smell flammable.
-J
From: John ([email protected])
Re: BBQ Planning
Thinking of doing a photo booth. Maybe something subtle like a cross made of sparklers? Or should we keep it simpler? Also, I’ve already drafted my Instagram caption:
The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness has not overcome it. #BBQOfBeloveds
Just spitballing.
-John ❤️
From: Simon the Zealot ([email protected])
Re: BBQ Planning
Can we make this a teach-in about Roman oppression? I’ll bring flyers. Also, no red, white, and blue decor, please. Feels imperial.
-SZ
From: Philip ([email protected])
Re: BBQ Planning
Real talk: this feels unmanageable. Should we just cater? Chipotle has family packs. I can place the order today.
Also, who’s handling trash duty? We’re already over budget.
-Phil
From: James ([email protected])
Re: BBQ Planning
Is anyone bringing FIREWORKS?! Because I bought a LOT. Like, we might need permits. Or forgiveness.
-James
From: Andrew ([email protected])
Re: BBQ Planning
I picked up sunscreen, extra chairs, and juice boxes. Also bringing watermelon. Not fancy, just doing what I can.
(Are we praying before we eat?)
-Andrew
From: Matthew ([email protected])
Re: BBQ Planning
Final headcount? We’ve got 12 confirmed (13 if Jesus drops by), and only 18 hot dogs. That’s 1.5 dogs per disciple. Is that enough?
Also, Judas, next time maybe spring for name brand.
-Matt
From: Bartholomew ([email protected])
Re: BBQ Planning
Hi all,
I’ll just bring fruit salad. Again. No raisins this time.
Best,
Bart
From: Thaddeus ([email protected])
Re: BBQ Planning
Can I do the blessing before the meal? Maybe a short word from Isaiah? Just something simple and reverent. Let me know.
-Thad
From: Peter ([email protected])
Re: BBQ Planning
Update: grill caught fire, James set off fireworks during daylight, and someone (not naming names, Judas) brought hummus instead of potato salad.
BUT: Jesus just showed up with five hot dogs and two hamburger patties and somehow fed everyone. Again.
Blessed and full, Peter
