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Horrible Smell Shuts Down School, Turns Out to Be Axe Body Spray

Yesterday, a horrid odor shut down a Brooklyn prep school yesterday, hospitalizing eight students. EMS was called in to investigate the scene of the noxious smell at Medgar Evers College Preparatory School in Crown Heights, and soon determined that the culprit was an abundance of that least pleasant of substances: Axe Body Spray. Yes, you’ve heard of it. Long known to be the unhappy source of unapologetically misogynistic ads and and even less tolerable smells: something reminiscent of a gallon of warm milk that has been curdling all afternoon in a hollowed-out lemon rind. This is not the first time that it has straight up sent someone to the hospital (Newsfeed notes that an overuse of it has been known to set of fire alarms) …

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