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Iran Achieves Space Monkey Technology

Iran has taken what appears to be the world’s saddest monkey and made him their sad monkey ambassador to the known universe, by launching off into the final frontier. Iran says they successfully sent the little guy into sub-orbital flight and then brought him back, safe and sound (though probably terrified and certainly no happier). “This success is the first step towards man conquering the space and it paves the way for other moves,” said Ahmad Vahidi, Iran’s defense minister, who clearly has never seen Planet of the Apes. While General Vahidi said the process for getting man into space would take a while and assured the world that it has no plans for nuclear armament, the West has its doubts. If you can launch a sad monkey into space, then what won’t you do? …

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