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Man Tries to Sneak Pet Turtle on Plane by Disguising It as a Hamburger

Some days, you write the headlines. Other days, the headlines write themselves. This is a case of the latter, in which a Chinese man named Li tried to smuggle his beloved turtle through airport security by putting it in a hamburger container between two buns and a slice of cheese. Oh, my. Where to even begin with this one. Li is a hero, and the fact that he did not succeed does not diminish his accomplishment (airport security noticed a few “odd protrusions” on his burger which reportedly led Li to insist, “There’s no turtle in there, just a hamburger!” So, again, he’s a hero.) But you also have to hand it to this crack airport security team who saw through this airtight scheme. So, really, everyone’s a hero here. Thank-you, airport. Thank-you, Li. Thank-you, Hamburger Turtle …

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