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Never, Ever Go Into the Water

Never, Ever Go Into the Water

Humans are land creatures. That is a fact that is so apparent it’s almost redundant to even write it out, but it bears mentioning, since so many of us insist on venturing off into the ocean, where no human belongs whatsoever. Case in point: These Japanese scientists who successfully captured the first live images of the giant squid, which gave birth to the Kraken “legend.” The horrifying, awful monsters have been observed growing up to 60 feet long—and probably get much bigger—and for some reason, some people are anxious to bring them into the public consciousness instead of leaving them at the bottom of the ocean, far away, where they belong. “It was stunning, I couldn’t have dreamt that it would be so beautiful. It was such a wonderful creature,” said lead Japanese zoologist/stark raving lunatic Tsunemi Kubodera. “So when I saw it, well, it looked to me like it was rather lonely.” So, poor Kubodera has already fallen under the wicked creature’s monstrous spell and we should all just stay on land and enjoy life while we can …

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