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Success: The Jamaican Bobsled Team Is Back On Track

Success: The Jamaican Bobsled Team Is Back On Track

Yesterday, we despaired as one to learn that the Jamaican bobsled team—the first to qualify for the Olympics in a decade—had landed in Sochi without their gear and clothes, and the airline was helpless to find them. It was a dark plot twist for our highly anticipated sequel, but today comes the excellent news that they team has received their gear, albeit with a little more protein powder than they might like. “We got our clothes, but it was full of protein powder,” sled pilot Winston Watts said. “(Security) opened the protein powder containers, and never closed the tins. The containers were sealed. And they left them open. In my helmet today, I had protein powder going into my eyes.”

Keep it together, Winston. We’re looking forward to the part of the movie where the protein powder in your eyes actually improves your vision, giving your team the edge it needs to take home the gold. Of course, nobody’s really expecting them to take home much of anything. “We are the underdog,” he said. “We come here as an underdog, and we should execute, and the results will appear on the clock.”

This is going to be a great movie …

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