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Vial of Deadly Virus Goes Missing; Don’t Worry, It’s Gotta Turn Up Somewhere

Don’t worry. Officials at the University of Texas Medical Branch say they’re pretty sure a missing vial containing a deadly virus native to Venezuelan rats was inadvertently destroyed during a lab cleaning. Maybe the missing vial of the lethal virus just got misplaced or something. They’re almost positive that it is no threat to the public, and odds are, there was not a security breach. So just relax everyone. What are you so nervous about? Vials go missing every day. Can’t throw a rock these days without hitting a vial containing some deadly toxin that scientists misplaces. They’re sure it will turn up somewhere …

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