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Victory: New Yorkers’ Right to Hunt Bigfoot Has Been Upheld

This Thanksgiving, when you’re sitting at the table and it’s your turn to say what you’re thankful for, you can list the usual platitudes about freedom of religion and assembly or whatever, but it would be short-sighted and irresponsible to neglect one of the greatest American freedoms of all, one that was just upheld in New York on Tuesday: The American right to hunt Bigfoot. Peter Wierner of the Chautauqua Lake Bigfoot Expo (The Chautauqua Lake Bigfoot Expo) recently wrote to the Department of Environmental Conservation looking to ban hunting Bigfoot, which is just another reminder that our freedoms are always under assault and they necessitate constant vigilance. Thankfully, cooler heads prevailed and state officials wrote back that, “No program or action in relation to mythical animals is warranted.” Ignoring the slightly patronizing jab about “mythical animals,” everyone can rest easy, knowing that Uncle Sam is keeping his hands off of your right to eradicate Bigfoot …

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