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14 Church Signs that Would Also Work As Tweets

Before there was Twitter, there were church signs. Frequently confined even to less than 140 characters, church sign writers were the original one-liner artists, crafting endless puns and cultural references with a singular agenda: get you to church.

Sure, they often walk the line between clever and cringe-worthy, profound and offensive, but like all great writers, artists and social media users, church sign writers often err on the side of edgy—post now, apologize later.

Here are 14 church signs that would not be out of place in your Twitter feed (for better or worse):


This would be getting a lot of passive-aggressive retweets.

Dog Whisper


Image Obviously, this tweet would be accompanied by an adorable picture of someone’s dog.


It took someone all day to think of this one, and they are likely adding a self-congratulatory “crying laughing” emoji.

Very Meta



This would also include some manner of work-out/yoga seflie. #Paleo

Talk Like a Pirate



A tweet that is quickly deleted after being posted by an angry church facility overseer. (Though, to be fair, who steals a church’s AC unit?)

Checkmate, Atheist Followers

This is a Twitter war just waiting to happen.

See Also


Tweeted by a passionate believer, homesick and watching daytime TV.

The Guilt Trip

A Sunday morning Tweet for all those sinning church-skippers to wake up to.

The Original Hipster

Too cool for Sunday school.


Politically subversive theology always plays well on social media.

Teen Talk

The Twitter bio of your church’s new youth pastor.


Well, that took a dark turn.

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