The first Sunday I tried a new church, I sat in my car for 10 minutes before going in. Not because I was late, but because I was psyching myself up to walk through the doors alone. I had just moved to a new city, didn’t know a single person there and had no idea what I was walking into. Would I be greeted with a warm smile? An awkward side hug? Or just blank stares because I wasn’t already part of someone’s text thread?
I eventually walked in, found a seat in the back and made it through the service. The music was good. The message was fine. The people were… polite. But I walked out wondering if I’d just gone to a concert with a TED Talk in the middle.
That’s the thing about trying to find a new church. You don’t just want to check off a spiritual to-do list. You want to find people who will actually know you. People who show up, not just on Sundays, but when your life falls apart midweek. A place where you can serve and grow—not just spectate.
It turns out, finding a church that fits isn’t as simple as Googling “non-cringey churches near me.” It takes more than good branding and decent coffee. But it is possible. Here are three actual keys to help you figure out if a church is right for you—not just as a place to sit, but as a place to belong.
1. Look for authenticity, not just aesthetics
Let’s be honest: style matters. We all have a certain vibe we’re drawn to, whether it’s high-church liturgy, low-key coffeehouse energy or a full-production worship experience that could double as a Coldplay concert. But don’t let the surface stuff be the deciding factor.
The real question is: Is this community honest about who they are? Do they preach with humility? Do they talk about real-life struggles or just repeat Christian buzzwords with a smile? You’re not just looking for a church that looks good on Instagram. You’re looking for a church that shows up when no one’s watching.
Authenticity doesn’t mean perfection. It means transparency. It means people who can admit they don’t have it all together, and leaders who create space for that to be OK.
2. Pay attention to how truth is taught
You don’t need a seminary degree to recognize healthy teaching. You just need to pay attention to how Scripture is used. Are sermons rooted in the Bible, or loosely inspired by it? Is truth weaponized to control, or is it presented with grace and room for growth?
A good church will challenge you, but it won’t manipulate you. It will take Scripture seriously without acting like it has all the answers. And it will create space for you to wrestle honestly with your questions, not silence them.
If you’re unsure where a church stands, that’s not a reason to bolt—but it is a reason to ask. Healthy churches don’t mind being transparent about their theology. In fact, they’ll welcome the conversation.
3. Don’t settle for Sunday-only connection
You weren’t made to just attend. You were made to belong. If you leave every week without talking to anyone—or if the only interaction you get is a forced handshake during the greeting time—that’s not community, that’s choreography.
The right church will have pathways to connect beyond Sunday morning. It won’t just invite you to a group—it’ll create a culture where you feel like you’re part of something bigger. People will follow up. They’ll invite you in. You’ll find yourself becoming more than just a seat filler—you’ll become part of a family.
Look for signs of real connection: shared meals, service opportunities, text threads, people showing up for each other without being asked. That’s what lasting community looks like.
Finding a church that fits your faith, values and personality can feel intimidating. It’s easier to give up and do faith solo. But don’t. Community might be messy and slow, but it’s also where some of the best growth happens.
You don’t need a perfect church. You need a real one. And when you find it, it’ll be worth every awkward handshake and solo Sunday you endured to get there.
