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Guy Consolmagnom is the Pope’s personal astronomer—which is a real job, apparently. And he has gone on record now, laying down the hard facts about his feelings on extraterrestrials at this year’s British Science Festival. Do extraterrestrials have souls? “Any entity, no matter how many tentacles it has, has a soul.” Would he baptize one? “Only if it asked,” which is definitely the right answer. You do not want to force a baptism on a many-tentacled extraterrestrial, soul or otherwise …

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