Yo, Teens! Wassssuuup. Today we’re gonna talk about #influencers. You know how you love your totes fire influencers like Kylie Jenner and Zendaya? They are the energy we’re taking into 2019. They’re not canceled, like those busted old Bible studies and church teachings. Those are boring AF (“as Facebook”). But did you know that there’s actually an extra fab influencer you and all your teen friends can stan together who’s not problematic at all? Her name is Mary, and we’ll let the fresh Pope Francis promote her to your timeline. Pokèmon Go Check It Out!

DYING. Dead. We are literally dead! *crying emoji.* This is the sort of wholesome content we log on for, so slam that follow button and like and share!