Relationship Mistakes Not To Make in 2014

A few ways to avoid unhealthy relationships this year.

BY DEBRAFILETA RELATIONSHIPS / LIFE January 02, 2014

Like any year, 2013 was filled with both ups and downs.

For many, those highs and lows included some catastrophic things in the area of relationships. While some of you experienced the joy of love and healthy relationships, many others experienced a lot of pain, heart-break and the emotional ups and downs that beg for the start of a brand new year.  

Like the rest of you, I’m all for the new-ness of 2014. I’m excited to say “good riddance” to a painful year and usher in the hope of a new one. But one thing I know to be true—when it comes to relationships in particular—you can’t do the same things in the same way and expect different results.  

No matter how much you hope, pray and dream for good things this coming year, for many of you, good things will only come when you learn to make better, wiser and healthier choices.

If you’re still holding on to the hope of better relationships in the year to come, there are some mistakes that you may need to acknowledge, and then take ownership of as we approach the new year.

Here are five relationship mistakes to stop making in 2014:

Stop letting the wrong people into your life

One of the biggest relationship mistakes people make has less to do with what they do in a relationship, and more to do with who they choose to enter a relationship with.  

We can spend so much time thinking about what we want in someone of the opposite sex without ever taking the time to think through what we don’t want—and what we won’t settle for.  When it comes to finding love, there are some red flags that simply cannot be ignored for the prospect of a healthy relationship.

Think through the people you allowed into your life this year and ask yourself if they were the kind of people who built you up, or tore you down. Healthy relationships will always add more to your life than they take.

Don’t allow your physical relationship to lead the way  

As Christians, it’s easy to get sick and tired of hearing the “waiting until marriage” rhetoric. But we’re not just talking about sex here.

When it comes to dating, it’s easy to allow the physical interactions of your relationship to take the lead before you know what happened. But time and time again, I hear from both married and unmarried couples alike about the harm that encompasses those who allow their physical relationship to lead the way.

There is certainly a time and place for physical affection in a dating relationship. But letting the physical lead the way will always skew your judgment, heighten your emotions and fool your concept of commitment. When the physical attributes of your relationship take control, they have the power to ruin a relationship. That’s something worth avoiding in 2014.

Stop believing that you are worth less

There is so much truth to the concept that you will always attract the kind of relationship you believe you deserve. Maybe part of the problems you had in 2013 is that you didn’t believe you are worth more. As you move into the new year, take the time to consider what you are worth and how that plays into your relationship choices.

Don’t avoid talking to God about your relationships

It’s embarrassing how simple yet profound this statement is. Why we don’t take the time to talk to the Almighty God of the Universe who knows all things and can make all things happen is simply mind-boggling to me. 

He knows what’s best for our lives, and He knows what we need to get us there. Why not go to Him for wisdom, for hope and for healing? Why not seek Him with our questions, our pain and our problems? There are many different ways you can pray for your relationships in 2014.

Don’t downplay the importance of emotional boundaries

We talk a lot about the dangers of the physical in a dating relationship, but we don’t talk much about the emotional. But in my opinion, emotional intimacy can be just as damaging as physical intimacy if we’re not careful to proceed with caution. 

As you approach 2014, maybe it’s time to take inventory of your emotional health and the boundaries you’ve put up to protect your heart. Getting too emotionally intimate too quickly has ruined many relationships, because your heart is precious, and something that needs to be handled with care.

Seek to set emotional boundaries in your life and protect your heart this coming year.

We’ve all made mistakes. But it’s most important that we learn from those mistakes, and then strive to never let them happen again.  

Here’s to 2014. May it be a year full of love, laughter, joy and the hope of healthy relationships.

*This article is adapted from concepts in my new book, True Love Dates.

DEBRAFILETA

Debra Fileta is a Licensed Professional Counselor, national speaker, and author of the book True Love Dates, where she writes candidly about dating, relationships and how to find love. Her newest relationship book is set to be released May 2018! She’s the creator of the TrueLoveDates.com, reaching over 4 million people with the message that healthy people make healthy relationships! Connect with her on Facebook or Twitter!

8 thoughts on “Relationship Mistakes Not To Make in 2014

  1. Am so grateful to this great man DR.LOVESPELL who has brought back happiness to my life,At first i taught he was a scam,Because i saw a testimony about him how he helped someone in bringing back her ex within 48hours so i decided to give him a chance in bringing back my lover back to me who left me 7 months ago,So DR.LOVESPELL said my lover will come back to me soon,So really when the 48hour was completed my lover Frank called me and said he was sorry and that he was ready to make it up with me,Am so grateful to DR.LOVESPELL,Please in-case you are in need of help you can contact him on is private mail (lovespellpower@hotmail.com)tel.no. is +2348104004707.

  2. At last my happiness has been restored through Dr WASIU of traditionalblackspell , my mount is full of testimonies but here is a little i can say out of the whole wondrous things Dr WASIU has done for me i was in a great and the sweetest relationship with my man WAYNE for three years and we were both in love and even planning of getting married November 2014 so when he traveled for on the a business trip to Australia he melt a lady there whom he dated for two months and when he returned back to home he began to behave strange and with not long he said he is tired of this relationship looking for ways to break our love life and he finally push me out and bring in the Australia lady with him .this time i was frustrated and devastated about my love life so i vow not to rest until i am able to get back the only man i have ever loved so i began to look for a solution to restore my love life . one day my friend Jessica Sanchez came to me telling me about this man DR WASIU saying this man has helped her restore her marriage life, so i said let me also try as i have no other choice in getting back Wayne. at first when i contacted him i thought nothing will work but it was like a dream and surprise when he told me he will help me out by bringing back my wayne to me. Dr WASIU of traditionalblackspell@gmail.com has done this for me so i want you all to join me to say thank you to this man, and if any one here is also passing through a similar problem i will advice you to contact him today and i know your problems will be solve

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  5. Hello to you all here, i am Kisten Wilson. and i here to share to you all my testimony about this man called Dr ABULU , last year i got married to my husband Wilson Jefferson and we both have a body so we were both living happily together ever since we got married until early this year when my husband traveled to Australia for business trip and he told me and kid that he will be coming in two months time and he left , it was just 2 weeks when my husband stoped calling me and the kid so i was suprise and i started to wonder what is wrong until i heard that he is with a lady there and he was even planing to marry her and push me and my child out so i reported to his family but they could not stop him this time he has send me message to live the house before he return so i was so confused and do not know what to do so a friend of my mummy directed me to this man DR ABULU of abuluspiritualtemple@gmail.com, for help and solution and i quickly rush to contact him through his mail and he told me what to do and i did it and after two days mu husband called me and started begging me to forgive and forget all that he must have done to be that he was not his self so that is how i manage to save my relationship so with this great work done for me by DR ABULU i promised to share this to the world in-case any one is there with similar problems should contact him as well for solution and i know you must be saved okay
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  6. i want to use today to remember the good thing that you have did for me. Before you helped me I was lost and lonely. My marriage was ending and I was lonely. After DR ABULU casted the Ultimate Return Love 3 Spell, Triple Love Obsession Spell, and Attract Attention Spell. I got my husband coming to me to work things out and he called me more than 24 times this week and guys comes around me looking and smiling and asking me out for dates. Now I have to choose which guy I want. I feel like a popular movie star or sexy model thanks to your spells Dr ABULU abuluspiritualtemple@gmail.com You are truly the best

  7. Dr Dros is like a father to the fatherless.. I never believed these will really make a change in my marriage, and I never have it in my thought that I could ever been with my husband Mr Andrew after divorcing and ending our 33years marriage…. My life was upset I never knew where to start from when my husband broke up with me…..My name is Wills Andrew from Poland but got married and live in Chicago USA, , drossuva@gmail.com is the right email address to contact for an urgent help in getting your lover back…. My husband and I have been together for 33years before he divorced me and i was so upset because i thought i have lost my marriage forever… i did all i could to please for my husband to bring me back home but all to be in vain.. i had to travel away from my state because i was not having anywhere to stay because my home was not conducive for me to stay because my husband want me out of th house, i travel to a friend of mine in California, one night, when i was searching on a good spell caster results that help in bringing back lost lover’s and husband’s, i found an interesting story that was shared by Santana Valdez From Texas Huston, about a good spell caster called Dr , Dr Dros, and how he helped her in getting her husban back home, and i decided to put a try in contacting him… he replied me back.. i thought at first these was just normal and he told me that i was going to get back my husband after a period of 28hours i still doubted him…. But today as i am sharing these good news is for me to express my experience to all the whole universe that these is a good spell caster that helps in bringing back lost lovers and he is (, drossuva@gmail.com) I am happily with my husband and my 3 kids, TARRY, WENDY, JEFF… great , Dr Dros i thank you for helping me to get my family back…. his email address is (, drossuva@gmail.com)

  8. Hello friends i want to share my testimony and how grateful, I’m since my lover came back to me because of the grate help Dr Malawi Racum whose email address is spellofsolutiontemple@yahoo.com render to me. my boyfriend broke up with me first week of july this year because he thought i was cheating on him, he told me that his friends has been telling him that i have been seeing someone else when he is not around i tried to make him understand that his friends are lieing to him but he did not give me the chance to explain to him this was how he left me. after a month of our breakup i tried to live a normal life without him but it was very hard for me to cope then i decided to contact Dr Malawi Racum via his mobile number +27620171252 and his email address spellofsolutiontemple@yahoo.com which i came across this months September 12th during my search looking for help how to get my lover back he cast a love spell for me and make my lover to come back to me within the period of 48hours. with this grate joy in my heart i want to say a big thanks to Dr Malawi Racum he is the best spell caster and he is the best solution.

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