Being single in 2025 isn’t the scandal it used to be, but it can still feel like everybody has an opinion about it—especially the people who shouldn’t. Sure, stats show millennials and Gen Z are waiting longer than ever to get married, but that doesn’t stop the aunts and grandmas or the married friends in your small group from handing out unsolicited “wisdom” about your love life like it’s communion bread.
Some people you know were ready for marriage the second they turned their tassel. Others haven’t thought about dating at all because they’re too busy chasing careers, traveling or—most likely—streaming way too much Netflix. And then there’s the rest of us, stuck in the middle, just trying to figure out if there’s anyone worth investing our time in.
The reality? Finding someone who actually shares your values and feels like a real match is hard. But instead of acknowledging that, well-meaning people often resort to some of the worst clichés in the Christian playbook. You’ve heard them before—the backhanded, the cringey, the ones that make you question if you should’ve just stayed home from the cookout.
Here are five of the dumbest things people say to singles (and why they’re not helping).
You’re not alone. Here are some dumb suggestions many have heard during our season of singleness:
1. “Have you really prayed about it? Are you praying for something too specific?”
Yep. Every day. Consistently. For the past few years. Thank you. And so what if I am praying for a handsome, jacked man who reads his Bible? Jesus knows the desires of our hearts, right?
There’s always going to be someone who suggests that your prayer life is weak as the reasoning behind your solitude. The truth is, you could pray all day every day. God will bring someone in His timing. Which brings us to:
2. “God isn’t saying no. He’s saying wait.”
Omg, no way. THAT’S why I haven’t found the one yet?! Iconic, thank you for this life-changing information.
While this might actually be true… WE KNOW, and don’t need it reiterated to us.
3. “Maybe God wants you to remain single forever so that you can spend your life in pursuit of Him.”
Wait… what? That escalated SO quickly!
This one may make you cringe, or laugh out loud, but it’s something that I was literally told by an elder at my previous church (Note: previous church). For a while, after this unwanted advice was offered to me, at sixteen years old might I add, I really believed it. I struggled with this for a while and actually begged God to tell me that this wasn’t actually the case. It wasn’t until I spoke with my youth pastor years later that I realized that God is not a selfish God. He truly does know the desires of our hearts, and I don’t think God would force you to spend your life alone to pursue Him if that would be devastating to you. Instead, He will bring you someone who you can pursue Him with. After all, remember when God told Adam that it wasn’t good enough for him to be alone, so he fashioned a wife for him? He can do the same for you.
4. “Jesus should be enough for you.”
PSA: Wanting to be married to someone other than Jesus does not make you unholy!
5. “The moment you stop looking, God will drop your husband/wife into your lap.”
Fake news. If this were true, 90 percent of people would still be single. Some relationships take more pursuit than others. The desire to love is something that God Himself instilled in us when He created us. Keep your singleness in mind, and keep your eyes open, but don’t allow it to cause you to lose sight of everything else.
It is, without a doubt, the most annoying thing to receive unwanted advice during your season of singleness. So elders, maybe try changing the way that you encourage those who are experiencing a different season of life than you. Instead of triggering them into feeling guilty for how they love Jesus or the way that they pray, support and encourage them with prayer. And, for the love of all things holy, if they don’t ask you for advice, maybe don’t offer it?
