When you’re ending a relationship, there’s pretty much only one reason why: You don’t feel the same anymore, and you don’t want to be with them.
Maybe the relationship began too quickly, a “mission trip mishap” of sorts. Maybe it’s a high school relationship that protruded into college. Whatever it is, you’ve grown apart, and for the sake of both of you, it needs to end.
Breaking up is difficult on both ends: Someone is going to be hurt, regardless. But being on the receiving end of a breakup is even worse if, instead of hearing the truth about why your relationship is ending, you’re subjected to excuses. Nothing is worse than not getting closure. Whether you saw it coming a mile away or were completely blindsided, it’s hard to move on when you feel like you don’t know the real reason things didn’t work out.
We’ve all heard them, and if we’re honest, we’ve probably used them: bad, not-at-all creative, not-even-believable breakup excuses. Here are some cliche excuses to soften the blow during a breakup:
I think God is telling me we should see other people.
This is the ultimate Christian excuse to break up with someone without hurting their feelings. And I get it. It’s a real, solid excuse. But … come on. You’re blaming God? Don’t pull Him into this. It’s not His fault you have commitment issues. Which brings us to …
I have commitment issues.
This is an excellent way to say “I’m not dumping you because I’m actually scared of commitment, I’m dumping you because I don’t like you enough to commit to you.” That’s the hard truth. If someone says this to you, you should thank them for breaking up with you because you can do better.
I think I should focus on my relationship with God.
Prove it. Update your profile picture with a fire selfie on Facebook with your hot new dipset: your Bible!
Also: you’re gonna’ have to learn how to stay close to God while you’re in a relationship some day if you plan on getting married.
Seriously. If someone says this to you, they just don’t like you anymore.
I need to focus on my career right now.
This is a lot worse than focusing on your relationship with God because at least that one makes you look good. This is just another way of saying, “I don’t like you enough to prioritize you in my life.”
You deserve someone better.
Also related, “You’re too good for me” and “Whoever ends up with you is so lucky.” I may deserve someone better, but I also deserve a better excuse as to why you’re dumping me.
Maybe in the future.
If someone says to you, “I think we should take a break, and see where the future takes us,” it’s over. This is basically saying “I want to be single, but am scared that I won’t find anyone better, so can I keep you in my pocket as a backup just in case?”
The only thing this does is get your hopes up and make you feel as though there’s hope for a future, when in reality, both parties involved know there’s not.
Not ready for a relationship right now.
Taken straight from the “How to Waste Someone’s Time” handbook comes this grand excuse. This is basically someone saying, “This is getting way too serious for me and it’s freaking me out,” or, “I’m way too young to be this tied down.”
A lot of people will use this excuse in college because they want to enjoy their college years “wild and free.”
I love you, I’m just not in love with you.
Oh, my favorite! “You’re cool and all, but I’m just not excited about you.”
And the classic cop-out: It’s not you, it’s me.
If you’ve become victim to one of these excuses, try to respond with charm and grace. Don’t take it too seriously, and be aware of their true intentions. Then, move on and focus on yourself instead.