It starts with one text: “Hey, we’re all going to that new rooftop spot on Friday. You in?” You want to say yes. You should say yes. You haven’t seen this group in weeks and honestly, you could use the serotonin. But then you remember the $14 cocktail minimum, the Uber surge pricing, and the creeping dread of checking your bank account the next morning.
Suddenly, that rooftop vibe feels less like a memory in the making and more like a financial landmine.
If that tension feels familiar, you’re not alone. Socializing in your 20s and 30s often comes with a price tag — sometimes one you can’t actually afford. According to CreditKarma, 40 percent of millennials have spent money they didn’t have just to keep up with friends. That’s not just about brunch. That’s anxiety in a cute outfit.
Young adults are more in debt than ever — and they know it. Just 23 percent of Gen Z and young millennials say they’re debt-free. Meanwhile, three-quarters of that group carry more than $100,000 in non-mortgage debt. And yet, the pressure to keep up appearances (and social calendars) hasn’t let up.
But here’s the thing: It’s possible to have a life and a budget. You can say yes to plans without saying goodbye to your financial sanity. You just have to be a little more intentional — and a lot less afraid to be honest about what you can afford.
Here’s how.
1. Stop Letting FOMO Drive Your Finances
Fear of missing out is real — and expensive. But the solution isn’t cutting yourself off from community; it’s being clear-eyed about what you can afford and creative about how you show up.
“It’s easy to assume it’s fine to use debt to support current spending because ‘everyone is doing it,’” said Dr. Sonya Britt-Lutter, a personal financial planner and professor at Kansas State University. “The use of debt cannot be an isolated decision. It is directly tied to current and future income.”
Translation: That $80 concert ticket, plus Uber, plus dinner out? Future you is footing the bill — with interest.
2. Redefine What Fun Looks Like
In case no one has told you lately, not every hangout has to involve bottomless brunch or a cover charge. If you’re craving connection, say so — and suggest something that doesn’t cost your entire grocery budget.
“A spending diet is just like food dieting,” Britt-Lutter said. “It’s hard to stay the course long-term because it’s just not fun. It’s easier to stick to it when you know it’s only temporary.”
Try taking a month off from eating out. Host a potluck. Plan a game night. Go outside. Suggest a hike, a walk-and-talk, or a new park to explore. You’re not being cheap — you’re being strategic. And likely more memorable anyway.
3. Budget for Fun — Yes, Really
There’s a myth that budgeting means cutting out all joy. It doesn’t. Budgeting is just how you make sure the joy you choose doesn’t come with post-swipe regret.
If you know summer is your social season, treat fun like a fixed expense — just like rent or groceries. Allocate a set amount each month, and when it’s gone, it’s gone. But while it lasts, you can say yes with zero guilt.
4. Have the Awkward Money Talk (Your Friendship Will Survive)
Being upfront about finances isn’t a vibe killer — it’s a maturity flex. If something’s out of your range, say so. Suggest alternatives. The people worth your time will understand.
“Accountability is critical to sustained success,” said financial expert Rafael Robert. “Be intentional and have a plan you’re likely to stay on because it fits your life and your story.”
Being the person who proposes the budget-friendly plan doesn’t make you a buzzkill — it makes you someone who still has money left in August.
5. When You Do Splurge, Make It Count
You don’t have to live like a hermit. You just need to pick your moments. Want to road trip to see your favorite band or fly out for your cousin’s wedding? Great — plan for it.
And when you pay in advance, the experience actually feels better.
“Several studies have shown how the principle of ‘pay now and enjoy later’ actually leads to greater happiness,” Robert said. “It’s a triple win. You enjoy the anticipation of having the thing you paid for, the thing itself because it now feels free, and you enjoy not paying for that thing for the next several months or years.”
In short: Be strategic. Be honest. Be the kind of adult who knows how to say yes and still have money left over for rent.
6. Build a Life You Don’t Need to Go Broke to Enjoy
You don’t have to opt out of life to be financially wise. You just have to opt out of the myth that spending equals connection. This summer, build a version of community that doesn’t rely on credit card debt. One rooted in creativity, intentionality and actual joy — not just the appearance of it.
Your future self will thank you. Probably over a budget-friendly iced coffee you actually had the money to enjoy.
