Glow-in-the-dark Putt-Putt, laser tag, make-your-own ice cream sundaes and skee ball. A teenager’s dream, right? The funny thing is, these activities are not a part of a teenybopper’s weekend schedule—they are actual events I have attended as an adult in singles’ ministry. While I have been reluctantly traipsing through dark, musty rooms clutching a laser gun, some of my married friends have been hosting dinner parties, having cookouts and building face-to-face community. Although I might have left with a Chinese yo-yo bought with my skee ball winnings, my married friends left with a deeper sense of belonging.
Because I’m single, is it assumed that I automatically enjoy perpetual icebreakers? Am I not ready to graduate to the land of sophistication and supper clubs, or is this just the fate of a woman who has failed in the dating department? Somehow, these self-deprecating ideas don’t mesh with what I know to be true about the way God loves me. So, how then, does a single person navigate through this season, finding appropriate amounts of community while not subjecting themselves to feeling as though they are stuck in the land of lock-ins? My answer to this has been intentionality.
I have been diligent about being intentional with this time that I have been given. As Paul says, in 1 Corinthians 7:7, “I wish that all were as I myself am. But each has his own special gift from God, one of one kind and one of another.” Paul is saying that single folks have a gift and like any gift, it needs to be used for the glory of the One who created them for that very purpose. Think outside of the box on this one.
While meeting someone for coffee and having deep, God-centered conversation could be the way you choose to use your time, don’t believe that it is the only way to do life with others. If you are an athlete, work out with someone regularly and be a constant source of friendship for them. Are you an artist? Take art lessons and get into the lives of the other people in the art community- people that you might not otherwise have gotten to know. Use your gift of free time as a single to do just what Paul suggests, “spend his time doing the Lord’s work and thinking how to please him”.
Although I live to cross things off of my daily “to do” list, resolution making and goal setting have never been things that come naturally to me. They are too long term and require too much accountability and discipline. While that is true, goal setting also gives this cautious soul the courage to do something that once seemed daunting. It challenges me to seek out my passions- things that might fall by the wayside because of other seemingly more important things like church sanctioned activities. Make the secular sacred through your intentionality and to God be the glory!
Lauren is a kindergarten teacher living deliberately in her walk with Christ. With His help, she hopes to help raise a generation of children who will love the Lord and see all things in comparison to His grandeur.
