So, you’ve found yourself in a long-distance relationship. How you got here — whether it’s school, a job change, a random connection or divine intervention — doesn’t really matter. What matters is that you’re here, and they’re… over there. And it feels like it’ll be forever until you see each other again.
But don’t panic. Yes, long-distance relationships are weird and, let’s be real, hard. But they’re not doomed. You can make it work, and even thrive, with a different set of rules for the dating game. Here’s how:
1. Make Your Commitment Crystal Clear
Before diving in, figure out where this thing is going. You don’t need to have wedding bells on the brain, but know how serious you both are. The clearer the commitment, the easier it’ll be to manage your time, energy, and expectations. Plus, it helps avoid those pesky misunderstandings.
2. Get Creative With Communication
Talking for hours every night? Cute at first, but after a while, it’s like getting locked in a phone booth with a skyrocketing bill. Yes, communication is key, but mix it up! The phone isn’t your only lifeline. Share your experiences, hobbies, and even your fears in fun ways. Once, I turned my boyfriend’s birthday into a month-long celebration, sending little gifts and handmade cards every week. And he’s known for his origami love letters. Trust me, it’s worth going a little extra—it’ll make their day.
3. Don’t Do It Alone—Involve Family and Friends
Don’t hide your relationship from the people who matter in your life. Sure, long-distance relationships can seem confusing to outsiders (when I told people I was dating someone from Oregon while living in Iowa, I got a lot of “Wait, what?” reactions), but letting your crew in can be a game changer. You don’t need to flood them with selfies and updates, but letting them know about your partner will get you the support and encouragement you need.
4. Quit the Comparisons
Your relationship? Not exactly traditional. But that doesn’t mean it’s worse. You’ll learn how to communicate like a pro, and the commitment you’re building is strong—without the constant pull of physical temptation. Stop torturing yourself by watching couples holding hands or flirting. You’ll have that someday, but right now, the comparisons aren’t helping. Take a deep breath—it’s all good.
5. Ground Yourself in God
Long-distance might feel unnatural, but your relationship with God doesn’t take a back seat. In fact, you’ll need Him more than ever. Howard Johnson (yep, same name as the hotel guy), who met his wife Jannie during his U.S. Army days, knows this firsthand. They navigated a cross-cultural, long-distance relationship back when calls were expensive and letters took weeks. “I needed God’s help—whether it was good news or bad,” he says. So lean into your faith—it’ll strengthen you and build a solid foundation for your relationship.
6. Bring God Into the Relationship
It’s not just about you and God; your faith is the most important thing you share as a couple. Sure, you won’t be holding hands in church every Sunday, but you can still connect spiritually. Be open about what God is doing in your life, share prayer requests, and even pray together over the phone. It’s a powerful way to stay close.
7. Focus on the Now
If God has a plan for your relationship, trust that it includes this time apart. He’s working on something in your life—so don’t get caught up in counting the days until you’re together. Focus on how the relationship is blessing you now, even from a distance.
8. Be Patient
I won’t lie—it’ll feel impossible sometimes. But like any relationship, this one takes time to grow. You’ll get better at communicating, and things will fall into place naturally. Don’t rush to dump all your feelings or overshare just to bridge the gap. Take it slow, enjoy where you are, and remember that long-distance relationships can be beautiful in their own way.
