If you’re a Christian, over 22 and single, you’ve probably noticed the vibe.
In the Church, there’s an unspoken (and sometimes very spoken) expectation: grow up, find a spouse and settle down. Fall outside that timeline, and suddenly you’re treated like you’re a side quest waiting to be completed.
The Christian obsession with “solving” singleness is honestly wild, especially when you consider how often the Bible celebrates it. There’s a huge difference between someone who’s actively looking for a relationship and someone who’s perfectly content being single—but both often get lumped together like they’re projects waiting to be finished. And let’s be real: the unsolicited advice never stops. First, it’s, “When are you getting married?” Then, “When are you having kids?” And after that, who knows? “When are you getting a golden retriever?”
Here’s the thing—Paul, in the Bible, straight-up says singleness is not a problem. In fact, it can be a gift. Take this gem from 1 Corinthians 7:
“I want you to be free from anxieties. The unmarried man is anxious about the things of the Lord, how to please the Lord. But the married man is anxious about worldly things, how to please his wife… I say this for your own benefit, not to lay any restraint upon you, but to promote good order and to secure your undivided devotion to the Lord.”
Translation: singleness is not a waiting room for “real life” to begin. It’s a season—sometimes a long one, sometimes a short one—that allows for focus, freedom and purpose in ways that marriage doesn’t. Here are three reasons why:
1. Single people sidestep the challenges of marriage
Marriage is beautiful, but it’s not exactly a free ride to Happily Ever After. Even the healthiest marriages require constant work, compromise and emotional energy. Two people means twice the opinions, needs and quirks to navigate daily. Paul isn’t knocking marriage—he’s just pointing out that it divides your focus. Singleness, on the other hand, allows you to pursue life without that layer of complexity.
2. Single people have unique freedom for ministry
Marriage naturally comes with responsibilities. A huge chunk of your time and energy goes into caring for your spouse (and possibly kids). That’s good and biblical, but it also means less room for other priorities. If you’re single, you have the rare opportunity to pour your energy into passions, people, and causes that matter to you. Whether it’s mentoring, serving the underserved, or building community, you get to show up fully without other obligations pulling at you.
3. Single people have time—an underrated resource
Let’s talk time. Married people’s schedules are often dominated by family demands (and maybe a partner’s obsession with reorganizing the pantry). But when you’re single, your calendar is yours. Whether it’s investing in friendships, exploring new hobbies, or deepening your faith, you have the bandwidth to be intentional about how you spend your time. And that’s a gift, not a consolation prize.
This isn’t a competition between singleness and marriage—both are gifts from God. The problem is when we treat one like a prize and the other like a consolation.
So if you’re married, stop treating your single friends like projects to complete. Maybe they’re thriving right where they are. And if you’re single, don’t buy into the narrative that you’re somehow “less than.” Whether your singleness lasts a year or a lifetime, lean into it. Use it to grow, serve, and embrace the opportunities that come with it.
You don’t need a relationship to be whole. You’re already enough—right here, right now.