Pastor Stephen Chandler has a bold take on Christian dating: stop praying together.
“Don’t be having prayer meetings together,” Chandler said on Lecrae’s Deep End podcast. “Don’t be fasting together. Don’t be doing deep Bible studies together. Now you’re spiritually promiscuous.”
According to Chandler, spiritual intimacy creates emotional entanglement that can cloud judgment.
“It is impossible to pray and fast with someone and not take on their battle as your battle,” he said. “You don’t become equals—somebody becomes a rescuer… trying to be their Messiah instead of being equally yoked.”
Lecrae seemed to agree with Chandler, but the Internet isn’t as convinced.
Many commenters have called the advice “unbiblical,” arguing that spiritual connection is essential for discerning compatibility.
“How are you supposed to keep God in the center and not pray, fast or read the Bible together?” one user commented. “I’m going to need some Scripture to back up what he’s saying. Because if he can’t, then this is just pure opinion that possibly goes against the Bible’s teachings, and that’s scary.”
Another wrote, “How can I be in my boyfriend’s corner and not pray with him, exspecially if this is someone that I will marry? Is that not a form of support and care? How can I pray and fast with friends, church family, but not my boyfriend?”
Others thought the take was unnecessarily alarmist or even harmful, suggesting it discouraged faith-based vulnerability in relationships.
“This guy spoke about taking on someone else’s burdens,” one said, “but as pastors, ministers and intercessors, we do it all the time. What about praying with our friends? Are we not supposed to do that? Our children? Is it crazy to pray for them and intercede on their behalf? Because I’m for sure going to pray for them and with them.”
But plenty of others backed Chandler up, saying they’d experienced how prayer can bond people too deeply, too soon.
“He’s not saying don’t talk about faith,” one commenter explained. “He’s saying don’t create soul ties before you even know if you’re compatible.”
Whether you agree or not, Chandler’s take taps into a deeper tension in modern Christian dating: how to pursue spiritual connection without confusing it for compatibility.
And clearly, people have thoughts.
@_lecrae ⚠️ Why You SHOULDN’T Pray with the Person You’re Dating 🙏❤️ “Prayer is powerful, but should you really be praying and fasting with the person you’re dating? Here’s why that can get messy—real fast.” 🎤🔥 Full convo up on The Deep End Youtube.
