It’s summer, which means one thing: wedding season. Sure, it’s wonderful if you’re getting married. But for those of us who aren’t flying to Jamaica after the ceremony, it’s usually not quite as exciting. So how do you make it through all the weddings you’re invited to this summer? Here are a few keys:
No wedding in the history of weddings has ever taken place at a convenient time. Sure, the ceremony may only last an hour, but where they get you is that Lord of the Rings trilogy-feeling wait between the ceremony and the reception. You can’t be expected to Cha Cha Slide if you haven’t been given the proper Cha Cha Slide nutrients. This is why you need to eat a full meal before you leave your house. That way, the worst case scenario is just that you’re too full to go through the buffet line again.
Choose the Right Outfit
When it comes to choosing an outfit for a wedding, there are a few things to keep in mind. First, you want to make sure that your outfit is appropriate for the occasion. Double check — maybe even triple check — the invitation to find out the dress code. Second, you want to choose something that you feel comfortable and confident in. And finally, you want to make sure that your outfit doesn’t clash with the bride’s dress. It was funny when Kelly Kapoor wore white in The Office. It’s never as funny when someone does it in real life.
If you’re not sure what to wear, a good rule of thumb is to err on the side of caution. A simple, classic outfit is always a safe bet. And if you’re still not sure, ask the bride or groom for their advice.
Buy Comfortable Shoes
Guys, get some black shoes that aren’t those shiny bowling shoes. Ladies, those giant heels are cool, but you don’t have to worry about Yao Ming trying to dunk on you during a candle lighting ceremony, so slip on some comfy flats and save your feet the agony of balancing on leopard-print stilts for nine hours.
Be Respectful of the Couple’s Wishes
The couple has put a lot of thought into their wedding, so it’s important to respect their wishes. Be on time because punctuality is important, especially on a wedding day. The couple has put a lot of time and effort into planning their special day, and they don’t want to have to wait for their guests to arrive. Also, if they’ve asked you not to take photos or videos, please respect their wishes. And if they’ve asked you to dance, please don’t say no.
Have Fun, But Remember the Photographer
By all means, enjoy your day by cutting loose, but remember, this is an event with a professional team of photographers and dozens of relatives all snapping photos like paparazzi watching Taylor Swift give CPR to a beached dolphin. You don’t want the biggest takeaway from the day to be that your dance moves look utterly insane on camera.
When All Else Fails, Just Buy a Gift
Your friends want you to attend their wedding, but in the same way that love covers a multitude of sins, a nice gift masterfully replaces the fact that you couldn’t attend their ceremony. No one has ever said, “Wow, that was so nice of Harold and Rebecca to attend our wedding even though they didn’t bring a gift.” If you buy a new couple a Roomba, they won’t care if you returned their RSVP letter covered in dog hair and baby spit. After all, that’s what wedding season is really all about: getting a Roomba.