Let’s be honest—making friends as an adult is weird. You’re busy, everyone else is busy, and somehow your best conversations happen in group chats instead of in real life. It’s no wonder so many twentysomethings feel disconnected, even in a world more digitally connected than ever. But what if the secret to building real community in 2025 isn’t about having the perfect friend group or throwing dinner parties? What if it’s simply about showing up?
Think about how friendships were built in college. It wasn’t because you scheduled weekly hangouts with your dormmates months in advance. It happened in the mundane—bumping into each other in the hallway, late-night study sessions, grabbing fast food at midnight. But once adulthood kicks in, friendships suddenly feel like they require formal invitations and Google Calendar events to survive.
The reality? Deep friendships thrive in consistency, not formality. Community isn’t just something we go to—it’s something we build by making space for people in our everyday lives. That means texting someone to run to Target with you. It means saying yes when a friend invites you over, even if you’re tired. It means resisting the urge to isolate when life gets overwhelming.
And let’s get one thing straight: hospitality isn’t about having a perfectly curated space. Most young adults aren’t exactly rolling in extra square footage, and that’s fine. True hospitality isn’t about the size of your living room—it’s about making people feel welcome, wherever you are. Maybe you don’t have a dining table, but you can invite someone to grab coffee. Maybe your apartment is cramped, but you can sit in a park and have a real conversation. Maybe your schedule is packed, but you can still send a text that says, “Hey, how are you really doing?” Radical hospitality in 2025 isn’t about entertaining—it’s about presence. It’s about showing up, checking in, and making space for others in the midst of real life.
One of the hardest parts of building community as an adult is that it requires initiative. Someone has to be the one to send the first text. Someone has to be the one to say, “Let’s hang out.” And yes, sometimes that means being the person who follows up when plans fall through or friendships start feeling distant. It’s easy to assume that if someone wanted to be closer to us, they’d reach out. But let’s flip that—if you’re longing for community, why not be the one to reach out? Why not text that friend you haven’t seen in a while? Why not invite that co-worker to lunch? Vulnerability is scary, but so is loneliness.
If you want to build real community, here’s where to start:
- Be the inviter. Stop waiting for people to reach out to you. Be the one who initiates, even if it feels awkward.
- Normalize casual hangouts. Not everything has to be a big event. Invite someone to run errands with you or grab food after work.
- Check in, even when nothing is “wrong.” Don’t just text people when you need something. Be the friend who actually asks, “How’s life been lately?”
- Follow through. If you say you want to hang out, actually do it. The quickest way to kill a friendship is to constantly cancel plans.
- Be consistent. Community isn’t built in one night. Keep showing up, even when it’s inconvenient.
At the end of the day, building real community isn’t about making grand gestures. It’s about the small, intentional ways we show up for each other. It’s about choosing presence over perfection. It’s about being there—even when you’re tired, even when it’s inconvenient, even when life gets messy. If you’re feeling disconnected, here’s the challenge: don’t wait for someone else to create the community you’re longing for. Be the one who texts first. Be the one who shows up. Be the one who makes space for others. Because in a world that makes it easy to stay isolated, choosing connection is one of the most radical things we can do.