If you grew up in the evangelical church, it’s likely that you heard some pretty weird phrases as a kid. Things like Jesus “living in your heart,” or “pouring into” someone when witnessing. Some of these things probably left you wondering, “What does that even mean?” And truth be told, a lot of these are things we still aren’t even sure of as adults.
A few weeks ago, we reached out to our audience on Twitter to ask what “church phrases” were most confusing to them growing up. Some of the responses we got were downright hilarious, and most will probably have you saying, “Amen!”
We’re working on a new piece for the site. Tell us what church phrase confused you when you were a kid (Jesus “living in your heart”, “pouring into” someone”, “hedge of protection”, etc.)
— RELEVANT (@RELEVANT) July 11, 2018
1. “Have you found Jesus?”
“Have you found Jesus?” where did he go?
— Rachael Rexroat (@runRachSrun) July 11, 2018
“I found Jesus!” Wait, when was He lost? Didn’t He come after us?
— Will Dungee (@dungeeville) July 11, 2018
Where did He go? Is He hiding?
2. “Set our hearts on fire for you, Jesus.”
“set our hearts on fire”
— Erica McQueen (@emcqs) July 12, 2018
Or, you know … don’t. Heartburn isn’t something that any of us are praying for.
3. “You are covered by the blood of the Lamb.”
“Pleading the blood”… pic.twitter.com/DoA2KcyiAY
— CDSalsera (@CDDoKing) July 12, 2018
“Covered by his blood” … ick!
— Cathy Alexander (@calex128) July 11, 2018
I don’t want to be covered by the blood of anything at all.
4. “Ask Jesus into your heart.”
Asking Jesus “into your heart.”
— haleigh brown (@haleighelise) July 12, 2018
When my son was about 4 yrs old he asked (while eating Cheerios), “If Jesus lives in my heart, are the Cheerios hitting him on the head when I eat?”
— Janet Laughlin (@janet_laughlin) July 11, 2018
i thought “jesus living inside me” was why we didn’t swallow gum. it would get stuck in his hair. also.
— brett ryan talley (@brettryantalley) July 11, 2018
5. “Love on your neighbor.”
“go love on your neighbor”…wasn’t that a commandment to not do that? 😂
— Bradley Smit (@bsmit89) July 11, 2018
“Love on” someone. Makes me think that someone is going to give me an unsolicited shoulder rub.
— Jordan Hayden (@jkshayden) July 11, 2018
Yeeeeeah … This just sounds like a lot of physical touch. Not our love language!
6. “We ask for a hedge of protection around us.”
I still don’t understand a hedge of protection. And it makes me flash to an image of thorny brambles surrounding people like from the animated Sleeping Beauty.
— Rebecca H. Newcomb (@pastorbeccaumc) July 11, 2018
“Hedge of protection”. When I was a kid I could make my way through any hedge.
— Josh Muller (@rhumbaclave) July 11, 2018
7. “Please pray for traveling mercies.”
“Please pray for traveling mercies.”
— Victor R Castro (@dedmanlvgstrng) July 12, 2018
What are you asking for?
8. “Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me.” or “My yoke is easy and my burden is light.”
I thought any time someone said “yoke” they were referring to the yellow part of an egg
— DJ (@deeejjjj) July 11, 2018
We are adults now. We still don’t know what this means. But apparently, it has absolutely nothing to do with eggs.
9. And our favorite response of all:
Why does a kiss need to be unforeseen or sloppy wet?
— Amy (@arshumaker) July 12, 2018