The apostle Paul was familiar with affliction and fears, and he teaches us something about their purpose through the thorn in his flesh. Paul was given a thorn not to destroy him but to keep him dependent on God. We don’t know the details of the thorn in Paul’s flesh. He calls it a “messenger of Satan,” with the purpose of torment. Whether this caused physical, emotional or spiritual torment or all the above, we don’t know. But it was bad enough for him to persistently ask for God to remove it.
Paul prayed three times that God would remove the thorn, and God refused. Sometimes God miraculously removes our physical or mental ailment, but in this case, God chose not to remove the thorn but to allow it to remain to make Paul humble. God’s response to Paul asking Him to take it away was: “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is perfected in weakness.” (2 Corinthians 12:9)
Paul responds by saying he will boast even more in his weaknesses, taking pleasure in them so God’s power would reside in him. True strength comes from God when we acknowledge our weakness. Boasting in our weakness with God in view doesn’t lead us to condemnation, it leads us to glory in our God and His power.
If we, like Paul, have asked God to take a thorn in our flesh away and He has chosen not to, it must mean that God has a plan greater than ours. God wants to expose our weakness and neediness so we might look to Him for what we lack. If God will not change our anxiety, then He must want to change us and how we relate to our anxiety. He uses this thorn in our flesh to accomplish His purposes.
Paul didn’t throw up his hands and say, “Well, until this thorn vanishes, I will not continue in my calling and my ministry.” Nor did he conclude that the presence of the thorn meant he did not believe or that he needed to root out some hidden sin. Instead, he moved forward in his calling and ministry while the thorn was still in his side. About a year earlier he communicated to the church: “I came to you in weakness with great fear and trembling.” (1 Corinthians 2:3)
Paul’s entire ministry was marked with affliction. He didn’t wait for the trembling to pass. For those of us whose thorn is anxiety, we would do well to follow his example. Rather than condemn ourselves, we can know these afflictions do not always mean sin.
In Letters to Malcolm, C. S. Lewis wrote: “Some people feel guilty about their anxieties and regard them as a defect of faith but they are afflictions, not sins. Like all afflictions, they are, if we can so take them, our share in the Passion of Christ.”
This doesn’t mean we don’t tend to the wound in our side. It doesn’t mean we ignore anxiety and press on like a machine. The goal may initially be to pray and ask God to get the thorn out of our flesh. However, if the Father responds with “My grace is sufficient for you,” we know that God will meet us in our weakness and adversity.
So the question is not “Why do we have fear?” We know the origin. The question is: Now that fear is here, what is God trying to produce in us through the affliction of anxiety? I am convinced that according to the Scripture above, it is more of Christ’s power in us. God works not as we would. In God’s kingdom, the way up is down, the way to strength is through acknowledging our weakness, and the way to Christ sometimes means we are met with fearful things.
Fear and anxiety are mysterious to us but plain to God. We often do not understand why we are to suffer so greatly with these cares, thorns and terrors. Like Paul, we can ask God to take them away, and He may, but if He doesn’t, we can trust that He will make His purpose plain in His time.
I want you to know there is a purpose for you in your storm. No matter how you ended up in this raging sea, it is one common to us all, and not one drop of this mysterious water is in vain.
