At some point in your 20s, you will experience what can only be described as an existential collapse. It might happen when you’re staring at a ceiling fan, debating whether to switch careers, move to another city or just evaporate into the atmosphere. Or maybe it’ll hit you while eating cold leftovers at 2 a.m., scrolling through social media, watching former classmates get married, buy houses and somehow vacation in Italy twice a year. Meanwhile, you’re just hoping your direct deposit hits before rent is due.
This is what they don’t tell you about adulthood: it’s mostly improvisation. You will change your mind about everything at least five times. You will question your calling, doubt your faith, lose friends, pick up weird hobbies and have multiple career identity crises. And in case you’re wondering—yes, this is normal.
The world loves to sell the idea that by 25, you should have a steady job, a thriving social life and some vague sense of purpose. But here’s a wild thought—Jesus didn’t either.
Think about it. We hear all about baby Jesus, a quick cameo from 12-year-old Jesus in the temple and then…nothing. For almost 20 years, there is complete silence. The next time we see Him, He’s 30, getting baptized and launching into His calling.
So, what was He doing that whole time? Probably what a lot of us are doing—figuring it out. Jesus wasn’t rushing to be a high-profile spiritual leader at 21, nor did He stress about achieving success by 25. He spent years living in obscurity, learning carpentry, growing in wisdom and, for all we know, also having some quarter-life crises of His own.
And yet, we panic if we don’t have everything mapped out by our mid-20s. Somewhere along the way, we convinced ourselves that uncertainty is failure, when in reality, it’s formation.
Jesus took His time. So why do we feel like we’re behind?
The Messy Middle Is Where It Happens
There’s something sacred about the in-between years, even if they feel like absolute chaos. When you look at the stories of people God used, there’s a pattern—nobody had it figured out overnight. Moses spent 40 years wandering in the wilderness. Paul disappeared into obscurity after his dramatic conversion before writing any of his New Testament letters. Even the disciples were just regular, confused guys when Jesus called them.
God does not rush people into their purpose. He lets them sit in the discomfort of the unknown.
So maybe, just maybe, your flailing isn’t a sign that you’re lost. Maybe it’s proof that you’re growing.
We tend to measure our worth by productivity and milestones—career success, relationships, financial stability, clear direction. But Jesus modeled something radically different. He wasn’t in a hurry. He was present. He lived an ordinary life for three decades before stepping into His ministry. If the most important person to ever walk the earth didn’t feel the need to rush, you don’t have to either.
Your 20s are not a race. They are a time of becoming—of unlearning, relearning and figuring out what actually matters to you. And yes, it will be messy. You will second-guess yourself. You will feel stuck. You will go through periods of doubt and reinvention. But none of it is wasted.
The world will tell you to hustle, optimize your life and have a five-year plan. But Jesus tells you to be faithful, to be present and to trust that what feels like uncertainty is actually the slow, sacred work of becoming who you were meant to be.
So take a deep breath. You’re not behind. You’re right on time.
