At some point in your quarterlife, you look around and realize everyone seems to have their life together—except you. Your college friend just got engaged and bought a house. Your coworker got a huge promotion and is already talking about maxing out their 401(k). Someone you went to youth group with is now an influencer with a passive income stream. And you? You’re still refreshing LinkedIn wondering if a Bachelor’s degree was a scam.
Here’s the truth: You’re not behind. Because life isn’t a race.
“Don’t compare your beginning to someone else’s middle,” Jon Acuff wisely advises.
Yet somewhere along the way, we started believing that major life milestones—career, relationships, finances—follow a linear timeline. The job by 22. The partner by 25. The down payment by 30. But who made those rules? Who decided that if you don’t hit certain benchmarks at the right time, you’re doomed?
No one. It’s all made up. And yet, these expectations shape so much of how we evaluate our lives. We use other people’s progress as a measuring stick, as if success is a standardized test where everyone should be at the same level by a certain age. But life doesn’t work that way. Different people have different opportunities, struggles and callings. Comparing your timeline to someone else’s is like judging a fish for not being able to climb a tree. It doesn’t make sense.
“The reality is, success looks different for everyone,” says Jenny Blake. “It’s messy, it’s nonlinear, and that’s perfectly normal. There’s freedom in acknowledging your path isn’t going to match everyone else’s.”
The reason it feels like everyone else is winning at life while you’re floundering is because social media is the ultimate highlight reel. We scroll through engagement photos, job announcements, and meticulously curated aesthetic apartments, and it’s easy to assume we’re the only ones stuck in a rut. But let’s be honest: No one posts about the job application rejections, the credit card debt, the days they cry on the floor because adulthood is hard.
“When we compare our real lives to someone’s edited online life, we’re setting ourselves up for disappointment,” Acuff says. “The truth is, nobody actually has it all together, even if their Instagram suggests otherwise.”
Your friend who “has it all together” might be barely affording their mortgage. That girl with the perfect wedding photos might be in therapy over commitment issues. That guy who landed his dream job might be one bad boss away from quitting. No one’s life is as perfect as it looks online. Everyone is struggling in some way, even if their posts don’t reflect it.
And even if someone is thriving right now—good for them. Their success has nothing to do with your worth. Life isn’t linear. Some people get married at 22, some at 42. Some people find their dream job right out of college, others stumble into their calling after a decade of odd jobs. Vera Wang didn’t start designing wedding dresses until she was 40. Samuel L. Jackson didn’t get his big break in Hollywood until his mid-40s. C.S. Lewis published The Chronicles of Narnia in his 50s.
“The biggest myth is that life is a pass-fail test,” Acuff says. “We think there’s a deadline for success, but your best chapters might happen in your 30s, 40s or beyond. Life isn’t about speed; it’s about direction.”
For Christians, this idea of “falling behind” is especially frustrating because it often feels like we’re failing at both life and faith. We pray for direction, clarity, purpose—only to be met with silence or doors that won’t open. It’s easy to assume that if we’re not hitting certain milestones, God must be withholding something. But here’s the thing: God doesn’t operate on hustle culture’s timeline. Proverbs 16:9 says, “In their hearts humans plan their course, but the Lord establishes their steps.” Translation? You can try to map out your life, but God’s in charge of the actual route. And He’s not stressing about whether you’re checking off life goals at the right time.
There’s a reason Scripture talks so much about waiting. Abraham waited decades for God’s promise to come to pass. Moses spent 40 years in the wilderness before stepping into leadership. Even Jesus spent 30 years in relative obscurity before launching His ministry. If the Son of God didn’t feel the need to rush, maybe we don’t have to either.
“God isn’t limited by our deadlines,” Acuff says. “He often does His best work when we’re convinced it’s too late. Patience isn’t passive—it’s actively trusting His timing over ours.”
Instead of worrying about what hasn’t happened yet, celebrate your progress. Maybe you don’t own a house yet, but you’ve cultivated meaningful relationships. Perhaps you’re still searching for your career path, but you’ve learned invaluable lessons about yourself along the way. Those wins count just as much. Success is about aligning your life with your calling, not checking arbitrary boxes.
Rick Warren reminds us: “Without God, life has no purpose, and without purpose, life has no meaning. Without meaning, life has no significance or hope.”
Take a breath. Your story doesn’t have to look like anyone else’s. Embrace the messiness. Trust the process. Celebrate the small victories. And above all, remember this: You’re exactly where you need to be. Your timeline is your own—and it’s right on schedule.
