In the realm of contemporary Christian ministry, few figures have held as much cultural significance as Carl Lentz, the former lead pastor of Hillsong NYC.
Known for his charismatic preaching and trendy fashion sense, Lentz’s rise to fame was nothing short of meteoric. He burst onto the scene in the early 2010s co-leading Hillsong’s church plant in New York City, which grew exponentially and quickly became a spiritual home for many young professionals and celebrities. His preaching, relatable demeanor and stylish appearance set him apart from traditional pastors and resonated with a new generation of churchgoers.
However, in November 2020, Lentz’s public image came crashing down. Hillsong Church announced that Lentz had been terminated from his position due to “moral failures” and “breaches of trust,” later revealed to involve an extramarital affair. The news sent shockwaves through the congregation and global church, leading to intense scrutiny of Lentz’s personal and professional conduct.
The fallout was swift and severe. He admitted to his infidelity on social media, immediately entered rehab and began working on rescuing his relationship with his wife.
“Laura and I had to confront my sexual sin right away on day one,” he shared. “We handled the beginning of that conversation the night everything happened. We put it on the table and asked God to help us figure out what to do. And the rest of your life as a married couple, you work that out.”
He also shared a message on social media, expressing deep remorse for his actions and acknowledging the pain he had caused his family and congregation. His admission was met with a mix of condemnation and compassion, as many grappled with the dissonance between the charismatic pastor they knew and the man who had failed so profoundly.
Lentz’s dismissal also sparked a broader conversation about accountability within church leadership. Critics argued that the celebrity culture surrounding Lentz and other high-profile pastors created an environment ripe for moral failure.
And it wasn’t just Lentz who faced backlash. In two separate documentaries — Hillsong: A Megachurch Exposed and The Secrets of Hillsong — the megachurch faced allegations of systemic leadership issues, including a culture of toxicity and lack of transparency. This led to calls for greater accountability and structural changes within Hillsong Church to prevent similar incidents from happening in the future.
Lentz and his family were featured in The Secrets of Hillsong in 2023, interviewing with the filmmakers over several days. It was the first time Lentz had spoken publicly about his fall.
Now, Lentz and his wife Laura are sharing new details of their healing journey on their own podcast, Lights On, which gives an unfiltered view at their healing process, including how Carl attended a rehab facility and how Laura worked through her hurt and anger and chose to stay with her husband.
“I want people to come on this journey with my family,” Lentz said. “I want to give people peace and closure and help who are genuinely looking for it.”
But some critics think there’s a different motive behind their new endeavor, and they haven’t been afraid to voice their skepticism online. Lentz knew it was coming, though. He was prepared for some backlash, and he isn’t deterred by it.
“I can’t control what people think about me at all. And thank God I’m in a place where I don’t want to. You have the right to think whatever you want to think. It took me a long time to even get to a place to be able to unwind some of the things that led me to where I was. And I think the road ahead of me, there’s a lot more unwinding to do.”
Lentz has spent the last several years reflecting on his life, recognizing through therapy that, well before the affair occurred, he knew he wasn’t healthy.
“At least five years prior, when I look back at it honestly, I knew that I should step down because to my standard, to what I believe a pastor should be living towards, I failed,” he shared.
Lentz admitted that he struggled with porn and sexual sin for several years, trying to deal with it on his own without letting anyone find out.
When the news of his affair broke in November 2020, Lentz experienced a mix of emotions.
“I felt fear, relief, then being terrified, and then immediate protection mode of, ‘How can I save my kids and my wife?’” He recalled. “‘How can I salvage my family?’”
He knew he needed to confront his failure head-on, a process that involved moving his family to Los Angeles for support and undergoing extensive counseling.
“We had to leave New York,” Lentz said. “We went to LA just because we had some friends there. It was a really, really scary time, but we got great advice, got great help.”
“I lived so long in the dark.”
A significant part of Lentz’s recovery involved addressing his addictive behaviors and understanding their roots.
“I realized I needed to go somewhere else because I’m on the doorstep of every addiction that just destroyed my life,” he explained.
He eventually enrolled in an intensive rehab program that radically changed his life, providing him with the tools and hope needed to move forward.
Meanwhile, Lentz’s wife, Laura, played a crucial role in his recovery. Despite the betrayal, she chose to stay and see what he would do now that it was all exposed.
“She didn’t excuse it, she didn’t accept it, she didn’t make a cover for me,” Lentz said. “She just said, ‘I guess we’ll see what you’ll do now.’ And she didn’t forgive me until last year. Probably didn’t trust me until about a year before that.
“The thought of Laura standing by me as a loyal woman like an old prairie wife that just takes it on the chin is completely false,” he continued. “She absolutely had her boundaries, and I had to show up every day and do my job. There was no reason for her to stay. But she chose to stay to see what God could do with our story.”
Laura’s support was an example to Lentz of how important it is to have a support system in place, as well as the courage to seek help.
That’s something he, and other pastors, wrestle with in ministry. Lentz acknowledges that there were many times he could have reached out for help with his addiction, but he chose not to because he had convinced himself he could handle it all on his own.
Through therapy and rehab, however, Lentz recognizes now that he was being selfish with his leadership. By not stepping away to address the issues that led to his extramarital affair, he ended up hurting more people than he realized.
“I told myself at the time that it was brave reasons and I didn’t want to let people down,” Lentz said. “But I was already letting people down. I wasn’t getting through it. It was getting worse. I should have sat in front of somebody and said, ‘Hey, I’m struggling with this.’”
However, Lentz knows from first-hand experience that is often easier said than done.
“There’s that whole conversation of what is OK for a pastor to be dealing with as a functioning pastor and what isn’t,” Lentz continued. “That’s the truth. You can ask 100 different people what’s OK for a pastor to struggle with and lead, and you’ll probably get 100 different answers.”
But he’s not blaming the pressures of being a pastor for his failings.
“I’m sorry that I got in the way of so many people’s view of who Jesus is.”
“My adultery was not a leadership issue — it was a character issue,” he said. “But I know my character had an impact on my leadership.”
However, through his rehabilitation, Lentz has acknowledged how his infidelity had an impact on those under his leadership.
“Anything that happened under my leadership is my responsibility,” he said. “If someone got hurt in the church that I led, ultimately it is my responsibility and I own that. I apologize for that and I will continue to, but I’ve done the best I can to make amends where I can when it’s been appropriate in person.”
Lentz is still working on making amends to individuals he hurt, but he also knows there’s a wider audience he’ll never speak to directly that he needs to address.
“If I can be honest, when everything first came out, the thought of people leaving the faith because of my actions put me on the suicidal brink,” he admitted. “I can’t change what happened, but I can do a lot about my life moving forward.
“I want people to know I’m deeply sorry that I did the opposite of my life’s calling, which is to point to the light and to point to who Jesus is with our lives,” he continued. “There were moments in my ministry and my life where it didn’t match what I said. And that was hard for people. So for those people that were disillusioned and they’re questioning God, I get it. It’s hard. But I still have complete faith that God will restore those people to a brighter relationship with him.”
He also is apologetic for the example his story became for people to justify their criticisms of the Church, but he’s prepared to do what he can to right his wrongs.
“I know people who used my story as a battering ram to fight against the Church,” he said. “It’s frustrating that I gave those people such great ammo. But I don’t feel like those people get the last word because the story is not over.”
Lentz knew stepping back into the light with his podcast was going to get backlash. He knew it would come from all sides, and he has been open about the criticisms and skepticism he’s facing, especially from Christians.
“I’m not performing for people so they can go, ‘There he is, that guy, he’s repented,’” Lentz said. “Sometimes I want to ask people why they think they have the power to throw a blanket of acceptance or non-acceptance on anybody. I don’t believe that’s the God we serve.
“If someone sins and they confess their sin, repent and do everything they’re asked to do, I do feel like that has to weigh in somewhere. It has to be factored in at some point.”
For now, Lentz is focused on using his story to help others. His podcast, Lights On, aims to bring light to dark places by not only opening up about his journey, but also by providing access to the resources and insights that helped him.
“The moment you turn the lights on in a room that seems scary, it’s not so scary,” he said. “So I went to rehab. I have gotten the kind of counseling that kind of rips your soul out. I got multiple jobs and have loved it. We found a new calling, a new path. It’s completely different.
“And as we’re getting healthy, as we’re getting healed, Laura and I had a conversation where I told her I felt a burden,” he continued. “I feel called. I feel an obligation to get people access to the help that I’m getting because not everybody can get that help.”
Lentz wants the podcast to be the “CliffsNotes version” of the resources he’s received in therapy.
“I had access to help that cost a lot of money, and people helped me get there,” Lentz said. “Not everybody has that. So for the people who have questioned why I’m doing a podcast: I’m responsible for the information I’ve been given, especially with addiction recovery. So I’m going to give you access to it. I want to take this to people who can’t spend an ungodly amount of money to go to rehab and get help.”
Overall, Lentz said the podcast has received a positive response, and he and Laura are grateful for the opportunity to share their story and help others.
“Ninety-nine percent of the feedback is good and from people who have been very kind,” he said.
But some have questioned if the podcast is a cash grab or an effort to soft-launch a new ministry.
Lentz says it’s neither.
“People think this might be a rollout,” he said. “But we are going in our direction. This is a moment for my wife and I to be able to say, ‘Let’s use some of this pain to be able to help somebody else avoid it.’ Who could have a problem with that?”
Lentz views the podcast as a platform to help people heal, and although they don’t have a set number of episodes in mind, they’re willing to pursue this endeavor for however long it takes.
“We feel compelled to use what we know right now, four years out from this, to help people because it is urgent,” he said. “If there’s an audience for it and it’s helping them, awesome. If not, cool. Our motive is just to put this out there. Let me use what I’m good at uniquely — my angle, my perspective, my love of Jesus. Let me just see what kind of help I can offer.”
In addition to the podcast, Lentz is also motivated to being a present and engaged father, something he feels he couldn’t have achieved without the last few years.
“I’m excited about seeing my kids grow up,” he said. “In a way, this chapter has been a gift because I’ve been able to be such a fricking present dad. And there’s just no way it would have happened before.”
Although there’s still a long journey ahead with his family, Lentz is grateful for the opportunity to prove himself to his wife and kids each day.
“This whole journey has been very hard on my kids and my family, and we had to really work hard to be able to keep it together,” he said. “We’re a miracle story. We are evidence of God’s grace without a doubt.”
And while Lentz is looking forward to a future with his family, there’s one that is nowhere on his agenda: getting back into ministry.
When asked directly about possible aspirations to one day pastor again, Lentz was clear that it’s not in any of his plans.
“I’m not starting any church,” Lentz said. “I did ministry most of my adult life. I don’t miss doing church. I can’t imagine us doing a church at all.
“If God shows up and an angel drops on my doorstep and knocks with blueprints, I’m still going to say, ‘Bring another angel,’” he joked.
And it’s not because of the potential backlash, he explains. It’s simply because he doesn’t want to.
“If people are waiting for me to come back and do a church, they’re going to be waiting a long time.”
“I can’t do this without being able to weather some of that criticism,” he said. “I mean, first of all, some of it’s fair. But I don’t think church leadership in that position is going to be for me. I really don’t. And I don’t think it’s because I’m disqualified; I think it’s because it’s right for me.”
Still, he knows people won’t believe him, no matter how many times he says it. But Lentz has made his peace with closing that chapter of his life, and he’s more interested now in the new places God will lead him.
“I’m going to keep doing my best to live a life that’s clean and honest and hopeful and passionate,” Lentz said. “So if people are waiting for me to come back and do a church, they’re going to be waiting a long time.
“I’m really sound right now,” he continued. “I feel steady. I feel focused. I feel sober. Honestly, I even feel pretty bored at times, which was my goal.”
