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You’ve blown through Goblet of Fire more times than you can count, and you’ve cleared Deathly Hallows enough to have the story of the three brothers memorized, but are you prepared for Harry Potter and the Portrait of What Looked Like A Large Pile of Ash?

A robot named Botnik did a textual scan of all seven Harry Potter books before writing an original three-page chapter titled, “The Handsome One.” It’s great. (h/t TIME)

We’re not ones for spoilers, but if you want to read the full text of the robot-penned fan fiction, you can enjoy it here.