First things first: You can return your order of U2 collectible memorabilia, because Bono is OK. For now. But he’s not going to be OK if he keeps flying around on faulty airplanes, as a recent incident in the air above Berlin ought to teach him. It seems his private jet’s door flew off mid-flight—just a normal thing that happens to airplanes—scattering the U2 frontman’s luggage where the streets have no name. If you’re in Europe, you might want to go on a little field trip, because Bono’s luggage is out there somewhere and, who knows he might be willing to handsomely reward whoever returns it to him. Or, better yet, maybe buy Bono some new suitcases and clothes, since he evidently landed in Berlin without any clothes or suitcase. Or, best of all, just automatically leave a bunch of new clothes for him that he has no say in whether or not he actually wants in his possession. See how he likes it …
