They say breaking up is hard to do, but “they” obviously haven’t heard of The Breakup Shop. For only $10, this Canada-based company will provide you with the very unique service of breaking up with your significant other for you via email or text. If that sounds too harsh and cold, don’t worry. You can upgrade to a one-minute phone call with the breakup artist for a slightly larger $29 price point. Or, if you want to breakup with significant other in a style that blends Benjamin Franklin with a cowardly middle schooler, you can commission a breakup letter. Your standard, run-of-the-mill, “it’s not you, it’s me” letter is $20 while a customized letter costs $30.
In a recent interview with Motherboard, co-founders Evan and Mackenzie—who withheld their last name to remain anonymous—said “People are already paying services like Tinder to get them in a relationship, why not pay a service to get you out of one?” Well said, Evan and Mackenzie. Now all we need is a service that will allow you to be in a relationship with someone without ever having to spend time with them. In fact, we’re calling dibs on Surrogate Significant Others Inc.