Think of the most annoying song you’ve ever heard. Shouldn’t be hard—just think of a children’s song or, failing that, a Chris Brown song. Then imagine it’s stuck in your head. Don’t imagine too hard, because we don’t want this nightmare to come true. But imagine this song is stuck in your head for a solid week—one whole week. Does that sound horrifying? Are you already shoving your fingers in your ears, nearly paralyzed by the very thought of having one song—any song, let alone an awful one—stuck in your head for an entire week? Well, take that nausea-inducing nightmare and multiply it by every number you’ve ever heard, and you’ll understand the plight of Susan Root, who says she’s had “How Much Is That Doggie in the Window?” stuck in her head for three horrible, soul-crushing years. Scientists back up her claim. She suffers from a rare form of tinnitus called “Musical Hallucination,” which makes it difficult to tell when music is playing in your head and when it’s playing in real life. Except for poor, poor Susan—she knows “How Much Is That Doggie in the Window?” is now her real life. Her only life. All the time. It even drowns out the sound of conversation, and she says, “I’ve come to accept that I’m probably going to be stuck with this hellish condition for the rest of my life” …
