How important do you think it is for two life partners to share the same common interests and similar passions? While spouses who do not share the same hobbies might get along just fine, at least in theory, some aspects related to these very differences could lead to problems later on. For example, when a married couple is unable to tolerate the significant amount of time, energy, and financial resources that one of the spouses invests in his or her hobby, it may be reason enough to trigger a small spark, and from there on, a genuine fire. Sounds familiar?
Let's delve a little deeper into the topic and find out just how critical shared hobbies are, or at least to what extent.
When Partners Share The Same Interests, It's Easier For The Relationship To Work
According to a study published by the Pew Research Center, 44% of the adults that were part of the survey claimed that sharing the same religious beliefs with their partners was important for their marriages to be successful. What if one of the spouses likes to engage in fun gambling online at one of the top casinos, while the other one considers gambling to be a sin and is completely against it? Or how about when one of the partners enjoys hiking or mountain climbing every weekend, while also investing a great deal of time and money on expensive gear and periodical climbing sessions, while his partner cannot stand escalating anything higher than the 3rd floor – on an elevator?
The matchup is extremely important here. Some partners might be more flexible, open, and willing to try out new things for the sake of their partners, as well as for their own personal growth and development. When this happens, the relationship still has a chance to work, as it will broaden the novice partner's horizons, while strengthening the couple's bond.
On the other hand, if one of the partners is not willing to embrace any new hobby or interest that his or her partner might have, things are prone to get messy. This is particularly true in case the respective hobby that is rather undesirable for them would also take up a lot of time that would have been otherwise spent together, as well as money and other resources.
Partners who share similar interests or passions tend to have happier relationships, and these shared interests can bind them for many years.
To What Extent Should You Share Your Interests?
There are plenty of married couples who do share common interests; however, they do not do it to the same extent, with one of the partners expressing a significantly larger amount of interest and involvement toward the shared hobby. Let us take the example of a couple who loves to work out together. The wife is much more consumed with the daily training than the husband, and she sometimes completes two different workouts a day, consuming a lot of the quality time they would have otherwise spent together. The husband starts to accuse the wife of neglecting him and they are on the verge of separating.
It's a perfectly common example that frequently occurs with a lot of couples who fail to understand that the actual degree to which a common hobby is shared will play a critical role in a functioning marriage. A healthy couple should be ready to negotiate all the aspects of their shared passion and effectively manage and dissipate the most important things that differentiate them.
While no one says you need to perfectly match your partner, the closer you are to getting there, the better off you will be in the long run.
Also, keep in mind that it is not truly a matter of what you do together that is important, but rather how you interact while you are doing it. Both partners should express their consideration and full support for their partner's interests and never use their differing interests as a means of hiding some additional incompatibilities and eventually distancing even further.
If you are already dealing with various attraction problems or you are having intimacy issues, it might come easy to use your different hobbies and interests as excuses to not spend time together instead of working on solving the problems. Couple's therapy is a good start for solving these discrepancies and learning how to share common passions, go on the same adventures, start thinking alike, and ultimately show more interest in one another.