A Russian man named I.V. Pugach is claiming he owns the copyright to the goatee and says that anyone who is non-Russian and has a goatee is committing genocide and has to pay him. Pugach’s rates are very reasonable: $600 for a normal person and $30,000 for a celebrity. This also means every youth pastor in America owes him $600 for the years 1995-2000 …
